Gee, I wonder why they call the place "Red Rocks?"

Click on the thumbnails for the full size pic.

For the record, the man climbing that rock is ten years older than me, has had 12 surgeries in four years, has completely detatched biceps, broke both his ankles in a 40 foot ground fall just under two years ago, currently has a tear in his shoulder, and STILL climbs like a goddam spider monkey. Gary, I hope I manage to do old and frail as well as you have.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 12:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)

And *I'm* the one who is still single.

Then again, maybe this is why.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 12:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

So a handful of my friends were in Vegas while I was there last weekend. The sick ones. The people who like to go out and run 26 miles for a good time. The people who think a bunch of people running constitutes a good time. They seem to like joint pain, vomiting, and the taste of Goo.

Like I said, sick people.

These same people have recently started socializing at country bars. And in order to hook up with them, I was going to have to meet them at a country bar. Normally I would have said, “see you in Newport,” but I followed them to Gilleys because my drunk and twisted friends got it into their heads that they wanted to ride a mechanical bull. Getting hammered and tossed off a steel longhorn is perhaps not the most prudent decision to make before running a half-marathon in the cold desert air at 6:30 AM, but hey, Vegas isn't about making smart decisions.

As I had never seen anyone get thrown off a mechanical bull before, I swallowed my sense of good taste and against my better instincts spent a couple hours with them in the smoke and sawdust. Not having been to a country bar since probably 93 or so, I would like to make a few observations:

Mullets are still very much in style amongst an apparently large portion of the country.

Mechanical bulls appear to have little to do with rodeo skills and very much to do with the erotic fantasies of people who have spent too much time around livestock.

A woman mounting a mechanical bull can expect a very stimulating ride, suggestively rocked back and forth on the robotic beast to the drunken “Yeehaws” of the heavily mulleted crowd.

A man mounting a mechanical bull can expect to be thrown into the sawdust in about .5 seconds.

I will NEVER visit another country bar ever again. Not even to see my drunken friends thrown from any form of livestock, mechanical or otherwise. Look I know y'all don’t want my liberal, metrosexual, vegetarian ass in there anyway, so really, everyone wins. I will never go again. I don't like the music, I don't like riding horses, and I’m pretty sure Nascar is just a bunch of people making left turns all day. I think Texas is about as compelling as Afghanistan (Austin a surprising and notable exception), I cut off my mullet in 89, I didn't vote for Bush, and I think line dancing is an invention for people too white to find the beat on their own.

I’ll stick with glowsticks and strippers, thank you very much.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (16) | TrackBacks (1)

Ya know, the best part of working from a home office is the commute. And the dress code. Frankly, "business casual" takes on a whole new dimension when you work from your bedroom.

The worst part? The gutting of the house directly behind mine. Who needs an alarm when you have a concrete cutter or a sledgehammer or circular saw or ridiculously loud tejano music EVERY morning at 7:30 AM. Make that a friggin' JACKHAMMER this morning. Grumble.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 12:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

I promised a PayPal option, and now I have one. Again, Anne and James thank you so much for the support and prayers. You can donate online here .

I spoke to Anne last night, and her recovery has been nothing short of miraculous. Her STORY is nothing short of miraculous. Financially, it's still a long road. If you can help, please, please do. These are good people.

I totally forgot about that photo. Joshua Tree and the coldest day climbing EVER. Makes it real hard to hang on a rock when it's snowing on you.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 01:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Tids and Bits...

A. Whoever wrote this worm that is spoofing everyone's email and subsequently constipating my Yahoo account deserves a good, healthy case of ass cancer. Seriously uber-geek, you really, really need a girlfriend if this is what you call a good time. Little secret for you, the blow jobs you could be receiving are way, WAY more fun than the ones you will be giving once the feds send you away for ten to twenty. Why don't you put down your guide to conversational Klingon and pick up some Dale Carnegie. Trust me. It's better here.

B. I went to the dentist this morning. I had three cavities. Needless to say, this was a little shocking. I have never had a single cavity. In fact, until just this morning, I was under the false impression that I had perfect teeth. I subsequently had to spend half of my morning with my jaw propped painfully open. I have new respect for porn stars. And there’s nothing quite so disturbing as the smell of something burning inside your own head as they drill holes into your face. Sadly, the Novocain has worn off and the not entirely unpleasant puffy feeling in my gums has been replaced with a throbbing pain that is filling my head like the clang of a bell. These are the days I could really use a girlfriend. I am just desperately in need of a scalp massage and a nice warm bosom to lie against for a while at least until the Advil starts to kick into gear. I'll even promise lots of oral sex in return. Only not today.

C. I'm a blogroller. Thanks Hal for the fix. New links are there and more will be coming. Enjoy them all. I know I do.

4. My sister is 31 today. She’s the other smart one in the family. Sure the younger two got the brawn, but Sherri and I can totally kick their asses at Trivial Pursuit. She got the boobs too which I know must have royally pissed my other sister off. For the record, I ended up with a fairly decent rack myself, but I'm pretty sure Sherri doesn't have to wax hers nearly as often as I have to wax mine. Happy birthday Sissy. I love you despite the fact you still live in Texas.

F. Don't hate me because I’m beautiful and debt free and get to waste obscene amounts of money on trendy tech toys like this . It's the light saber for the Jedi salesman. And it is now sitting on my desk. This makes me Alpha male among nerdy, gadget-crazy Silicon Valley road warriors. I got the comfortable shoes, the iPod, the backpack, the two laptops, the wardrobe of black, black, black, and dark grey, and now the Treo. All I need is an Audi, an MBA from Stanford, and a hot girlfriend who shops only at organic grocery stores and I'm ready for my condo in South of Market.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 04:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)

Back from Vegas. You know, if it weren't for "Vegas" I could totally live there. The lake, the mountains, the trails, and dammit, some of the best climbing in North America all just minutes from the city. And don’t get me started on the strippers. Makes it really hard to beat. But then of course you would have to live in Las Vegas, in that beige, cookie-cutter suburban hell doubly damned by being located the tackiest city in the world. It would be more than I could handle, the overabundance of large breasted dancers notwithstanding. But wow, that red sandstone is amazing stuff.

Your perspective on Las Vegas is bound to change when you peer at it from the top of a 1000 foot chunk of rock. Your definition of risk is bound to change when you consider it from 35 feet off the ground, one rattling, half-exposed bolt drilled loosely in the soft rock the only protection keeping you from crapping out for good on the rocks below should you pitch from that height.

No matter how much I lose in those casinos, I win when I get out to Red Rocks. And let it be said, I ALWAYS lose in Vegas. My climbing partner walked away with $1000 this weekend. My father who is there right now for an executive boondoggle – I mean meeting came home with $450 last night.

I sit down in front of a roulette wheel with a thousand bucks, the Psychic Friends on speed dial, and my own private Leprechaun, and I will get up with an empty wallet, a summons from Dionne Warwick and a four leaf clover shoved up my ass.

A friend once told me to win in Vegas you have to walk in believing you are going to win. If you feel lucky, you will be lucky. Although this approach has worked for me with the opposite sex, I'm not sure it translates to roulette. It might get me laid at a party but in the casino I'm just getting fucked.

Other people, however, don't seem to share my misery. I've met the little old lady at the slot machine with the Super Gulp sized cup of quarters in front of her who tells you she hit $27,000 on her first pull yesterday off a $1 bet. I've seen the high roller in Caesar’s with a private table and a half million in chips lined up in front of him, tossing the dice with $25,000 single bets. However, this weekend I saw something that amazed me even more than that bastard tossing around the value of a Buick like it was the value of a BIC.

A guy walks up to our roulette table, and watches the action for a little bit. Pulls out a hundred dollar bill and drops it on black. Looks at the table, sees a big pile of chips on 28 (black), and tosses a $100 chip on top of that as well. As the ball is making its final rounds around the wheel, he thinks “what the hell” and places a second Franklin on black.

The ball drops into black 28.

For those of you who don't play, that 36 to 1 on the number and 1 to 1 on the color.

He leaves with four grand. One bet. One spin. One table.

I’m lucky I left with my lunch after that.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 01:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

For all you regulars, the eagle has died. And the chimes are silenced. They won't be coming back, so don't ask.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 10:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

So it's been 20 years for the Macintosh. Twenty years since that first advertisement during the super-bowl that I didn't understand. Twenty years since the Banana Jr. 6000 first offered kitchen appliance sacrifices to Dan Rather. Truly a state-of-the-art machine! And if you understand that reference, know that you are certifiably a geek AND that I love you for just that reason alone.

It's been more than ten years since I first sat in front of my boss' Macintosh, senior year at NAU, 2AM, worried about how I was going to finish and save my term paper on this unformatted PC disk, on a computer I had never used before, inserted a disk, and had the computer ASK ME if I would like to format the disk. It ASKED ME! And gave me one button to click. A button! I bought my first Mac a month later. A Color Classic. Cost me $1700 with a Style Writer ink jet printer. It was 1993. I have never looked back since. Happy birthday my good friend. Happy Birthday.

PS: Thanks Blurb for the reminder. Only a few more days till the little Blurbette gets her first Macintosh. I wonder how long untill she is coding...

Posted by themightyjimbo at 10:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (10) | TrackBacks (1)

Road tripping to Vegas for a couple days in Red Rocks and perhaps some indoor adventures as well. Until then, some road tripping oldies but goodies for you. Viva baby. Viva.

One .
Two .

Posted by themightyjimbo at 05:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

First and formost I want to thank everyone for their letters of encouragment and support of Anne in her time of need. She is home from the hospital, and although she still has a long road to a full recovery, she is doing remarkably well. Her husband told me that her spirits are high and despite the attack, she feels remarkably blessed.

For those of you in Orange or LA County, there will be a fund raiser for Anne and Mark at Irvine Regional Park on Saturday, January 31. The fund raiser will be a family event designed to increase community awareness of the beauty and recreational opportunities that the outdoor has to offer. Throughout the day there will be demonstrations as well as organized bike rides and hikes, a memorial mountain bike ride for Mark Reynolds, a silent auction, raffles food and entertainment and guest speakers.

All procedes will be donated too the Anne Hjelle Foundation and the Mark Mark J. Reynolds Memorial Children’s First Bike Fund.

Irvine Regional Park
1 Irvine Park Rd, Orange, CA 92862
Saturday, January 31, 2004
9:00 AM to 3:00 PM
Suggested Donation - $5 per person

Again, thank you.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled, shallow, self-gratifying, narcissistic weblog.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 08:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I woke up at 6:30, called American and asked if my flight was on time. They told me it was.

I got to the airport and asked the gate agent if my flight was on time. They told me it was.

I got to the Admirals Club, asked the agent there if my flight was on time. They told me it was.

I left the Admirals Club, checked the board to see if my flight was on time. It told me it was.

I boarded the plane, sat down, buckled my seatbelt, and opened up a magazine. The pilot announced over the PA that a cloud had miraculously appeared in the sky over San Francisco, and now the plane was grounded for at least an hour.

Yeah, I may be writing this from the lobby of the Saint Francis now, but dammit, if I wasn't such a gentle, calm, unflappable kinda guy, this sort of thing could really piss me off.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 12:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

Ya know, if my analog life was HALF as exciting and provocative as my digital life, I would seriously never spend another minute online.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 03:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

I just learned that my old roommate reads my blog. And likes it. I'm so happy about this! She rules. And it gives me all the excuse I need to make fun of her publicly. She was without a doubt the most eccentric roommate I've ever had. A masters MIT electrical engineering graduate. Classical pianist. Scary smart. Made buckets of $. I think that's actually how she took the money home too, in buckets, because she is without question the least materialistic person I have ever met. How unmaterialistic?

She didn't have a car for the first two years she lived in Southern California. I know of homeless people in SoCal who own cars. It's a culture here. But that's the least of it.

She has never owned a bed.

Never.

Blankets. Floor.

I'm not kidding about this either. Floor. She didn't even have anything as luxurious as a "chair." She did have a pile of books taller than she was and about four cinder blocks (which remain in my back yard, thanks Chris).

Christine, you are a nut, but I love you. Your room is open. Come back anytime you like. Just bring a bed this time. You're pushing 30. And dammit girl, you can afford it. Trust me. It's better.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 01:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Went on a blind date tonight. Dinner at Memphis. Nice time. But that isn't the point of the post. It dawned on me on the way to the restaurant that I had never been on a normal blind date. I don't mean to say that I have ended up hospitalized or naked or both or anything like that after a blind date, it's just that until today I had never gone anywhere normal like out for dinner or drinks or a movie or something. I haven't been on many, but with my prior blind dates I have gone on:

A two day climbing trip to Idyllwild.
A two day trip to Vegas.
A month long trip to Africa . And if you can top that I will be really, really impressed.

This whole "dinner" thing is gonna take some getting used to. Or I have to come up with some better ideas for blind dates.

In other mildly entertaining news, I bought a new car today. The days of sun on my face and wind through my hai...uh...on my face are over. The days of the hearty 4.6 liter gurgle are over. The days of taking corners at 60 MPH and never having to worry about things like "merging" or "stopping" or "passing" are over.

I own an SUV.

Now before you all pounce on Jimbo for being a petrol hound and contributing to global warming and supporting terrorism and all that, look, I agree with you. However, I am in the profound minority of people who will actually use an SUV for more than trips to the outlet for discounted Prada and Mikasa. Believe it or not, I go climbing or biking or something nearly every weekend. Climbing alone usually claims 40-50 days a year. Besides, I didn't buy a giant Ford Extinction or anything. I bought a Pathfinder. Now I have a vehicle that can actually take me to Holcomb and the Sierra and Black Velvet Canyon and New Jack City and all those places with fire roads and jeep trails that would have left my Mustang sounding like a linebacker's knees. And I even have room for little things like "groceries" or "luggage." I pick it up tomorrow.

PS: If you want a triple white Mustang GT convertible, low miles and definitely hot, better ask me quick. $17,500 and it's all yours. It's a car sure to turn heads if you are a 19 year old stripper and/or a flamboyantly gay male.

PPS: Props to Kat for the "Ford Extinction" bit. I'm totally not sharp enough to come up with that on my own.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 12:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (16)

Question. Are there ANY Clippers fans? Anywhere? Everytime I ask this question I feel like Ben Stien.

Clippers?
Clippers?
Anyone?
Anyone?

I admit, I'm no basketball fan, but I have lived in the LA/OC area for more than ten years now. And after a full decade here, I have never seen a Clippers hat, jersey, sticker, banner, or met anyone who publicly claimed to be a Clippers fan. I don't see how they make money. Are they just a tax write off for the Lakers or something? If you are in fact a real live Clippers fan, post something here. I'm curious as hell.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 10:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)

So it was Flogging Molly. And with the help of my new best friend Stuart and emusic.com "If I Ever Leave This World Alive" is now in heavy rotation on Radio Jimbo. Every time I hear that song it just makes me smile. Frankly, it makes me want to go out, get sloppy drunk, sing along loudly with the band, and dance a dance I don't know how to do with a pretty girl with blue eyes and red curly hair who will take me to bed after all the drinking and dancing and singing is done.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 10:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (11)

For those of you in SoCal who haven't noticed yet, LA and OC has new radio: Indi 103.1 . Without a doubt the best radio experience EVER. It's so good it reminds me of the old bad radio adverts they used to play on rock stations in the 80s - "tune us in, turn us up, and tear off the knob!"

It's like album alternative. Only its a REAL alternative and not bubble punk crap or the same "alt rock" singles you have heard daily on every Clear Channel station for the last decade. It's like what KROQ could have been. It's like all the good stuff that you used to know or need to know or really fucking wish you knew.

The only problem is that they don't have any DJs yet so I don't know the names of the artists or most of the songs because frankly, I'm just not that cool. Look, I grew up in Tucson. Give me a break. I’m lucky I don’t have a mullet. I've been in a mad Google search for song snippets for days on end.

One song still eludes me. They have been playing this one Irish folksy type song with mandolins and a largely acoustic start with a big electric crescendo at the end and a chorus that goes something like "if I make it out of this life alive" or "if I get through this alive" or something (I'm always in my car when it comes on).

If anyone knows this song and can email me the artist, I swear to you free oral sex or free iPods or my first born or at least my eternal gratitude or something.

I NEED this song. You don't understand.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 01:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (12)

Maybe it’s just me, but despite the fact that I wasn’t a big fan of the Lord of The Rings franchise (although the scene with Legolas and the elephant made me squeal like a little girl), I am thrilled these movies were made and even more thrilled that they were popular. This has little to do with any interest in vastly overrated mid 20th century fantasy or an appreciation of elvish fashion, Peter Jackson, Orlando Bloom’s ass, or a desire to visit New Zealand.

Frankly, after 35 years of Star Trek and 25 years of Star Wars, I am positively giddy that the geeks of the world have something new to obsess about. Not that I will ever tire of the still popular Kirk vs Picard debate. Suggestion guys: Turn off the monitor, shave that Wookie-esque face, go outside, and talk to an actual girl.

Hell, start with her . Thanks Sheila, for the inspiration behind this post. Now quit blog surfing and go outside too. Jesus girl, the internet isn't going anywhere. I promise.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 09:53 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Her most recent post is one of the most courageous and emotionally moving entries she has ever written. I don't care what any of the haters say. They all can kiss my ass because I'm not about to stop kissing hers. She is the best writer on the internet, and frankly I spend half of my time in front of a computer in a futile effort just to be half as witty and eloquent as she is.

And for the record, I was so touched by what she wrote about her husband that I swear for just a moment I was totally jealous that I didn't have a loving, bearded, kitchen remodeling, tech geek to massage my feet too. Thankfully that feeling passed quickly, and I went back to fantasizing about underwear models with big boobs.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 09:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

I suck. I still can't swallow.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 12:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (15)

My parent's got me the Braun electric toothbrush for Christmas. I swear I could use this thing to strip furniture. I feel like I'm brushing my teeth with an orbital sander. And all this time I thought I was getting my teeth clean with my Oral B. I'll be flossing with piano wire and rinsing with minty-fresh Clorox next.

Look, I love my new toothbrush. Honest. My teeth have never felt better. And I'm not opposed to technological advances for the benefit of good oral hygiene. But don't you think that all this teeth whitening that has become so popular is getting a little damn ridiculous? I appreciate a big bright smile as much as the next guy, but should your teeth actually GLOW? Some of the people on TV have teeth so white I swear they could light up a black hole. Their teeth don't look clean. They look radioactive. What's next? New Crest Extra Whitening with Fluoride AND Uranium.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 09:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)

Look Sam, I know it's “your” club and all, and I know you didn't get to be a gazillionaire by being spendy and everything, and I appreciate your efforts to sell me twenty-pound buckets of pretzels and fifty-gallon drums of Skippy at low, low discount prices, and I really appreciate the lifetime supply of severe cold formula pills I purchased today for $2.87, and I really, really appreciate the convenience of purchasing all my liquor, toilet paper, radial tires and a 36-inch plasma televisions at the same store, but is there any reason I can't get a goddam bag to carry it out the door? Why don't we put a stack of them next to the semi-literate Troglodyte you hired at $6 bucks an hour to put the little highlighter X on my receipt after eyeballing my cart? Helluva security system you have there. I’ll even bag my own crap after Thag makes sure I’m not sneaking a gallon of mayo out under my shirt. Look, if you can sell me a box of 500 bags for six bucks, it can't be adding all that much to the overhead. Tell you what, just add the cost of that bag to the price of my bourbon and let's call it even.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 12:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (11)

This weekend I have been invited:

To a large Jewish wedding in Tucson.
To a birthday party at the Dragon Bar in North Beach, San Francisco.
To a birthday party at the famous Sky Bar in Los Angeles.
To lunch and massages at the St. Regis resort in Dana Point.
To a three day ski trip to Mammoth.
To a three day ski trip to Whistler.
To a midnight screening of The Princess Bride in Los Angeles.
To a climbing trip to Joshua Tree.
To a climbing trip to Las Vegas.
Into the pants of a very open minded and intimidatingly attractive young woman living somewhere far (but not too far) away.

And I am sitting at home, sans voice, trying in vain to force the six pounds of congealed snot out of my head and lungs. With my luck, I am almost certain an invite to the 50th Anniversary party at the Playboy Mansion is in the mail.

How the gods torment me so. Sigh.

*Sniffle*

PS: Even if I wasn't sick as a dog and hopped up on massive quantities of decongestants, most of these events are happening simultaneously thus preventing me from doing more than one. You people, I love you all, but you gotta learn to spread this stuff out. I can almost guarantee I will have nothing to do now for the next six weekends straight.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 01:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (16)

Have you ever looked back nostalgically on your youth, remembering all the things you said, and all the things you did, and all the opinions you had, and thought to yourself, "Christ, it's a friggin miracle that nobody strangled me."

Damn. Was I really THAT big of an ass?

Posted by themightyjimbo at 11:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

Thanks Kaya for making me laugh. Again. And again. And again.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 08:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (1)

I had heard the initial news, but no names were released. There are thousands of mountain bikers in Southern California, and despite the fact that this was one of my old trails, I didn't think much of it. I got a message today from a friend informing me it was Anne .

For the few of you who haven't heard this story, Anne was attacked and mauled by a mountain lion while mountain biking in Orange County. She sustained serious and life threatening injuries. Only through her courage and the courage of her fellow riders did she survive the attack.

Anne and her husband have been friends of mine for years. We used to go riding frequently here in OC, and I took them both climbing for the first time. Her husband and I used to train weekly at the same climbing wall. Anne is an amazing athlete and incredibly strong, and I'm sure that strength, as well as the strength and support of her husband is helping her through this.

I spoke with him tonight, and her condition is improving, and they are both very hopeful. But they are not Sigfried and Roy and this kind of treatment is tremendously expensive. They are both self-employed and subsequently are not working and insurance will only do so much. A fund has been started in her name. Please donate if you can. You can send donations to:

24 Hour Fitness Anne Hjelle Fund
Attention: Account No. 8045116954
Wells Fargo Bank
PO Box 3488 — Portland, Ore. 97208-3488

I have never asked for anything from any of you, but I tell you now that these are good people and can use your support and your prayers. I am working with her husband now to organize a way to help on line using PayPal or some other method, and I will post updates as necessary.

Thank you.

- Jim

Posted by themightyjimbo at 10:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

The signature from an email from Heather , who totally rules by the way (in the off chance you didn't know that already). Even if she is Canadian.

"...all new feelings worth their salt eventually mess up your hair."

Yep. The power of the internet. I can be the subject of highly "tactile" and mildly erotic dreams in people I haven't actually met. For the record, Heather, you can have any feelings you want with me dear. I promise they won't mess up my hair. Your hair, on the other hand, is something different entirely.

And in other mildly erotic technological adventures today, you know your life isn't quite as bad as you make it out to be when especially hot women in far away places IM you from their bathtubs and ask you why you are not there to help them wash their backs (and NO I'm not posting any screen shots - yet). Wireless technology rules!

God I love the internet.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 04:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

It's a depressing moment when you are contemplatively stroking the whiskers on you chin and realize that you have to shave that chin way, way more often than you have to shave your head.

In other, totally unrelated news, the snot fairy paid me another visit late Thursday night, just days after I finally rid myself of her last, lingering gift. I have been in bed since Friday and it's only been getting worse. I was feeling fine up until my dinner with D on Thursday, but shortly afterward began an accelerated albeit unpleasant attempt to drown myself in my own mucus. Normally I would blame her, but since I had such a good time at dinner, we have decided to blame Donald Rumsfeld instead. I'm not sure just why this viral infection of my nasal cavities is his fault, but certainly there is no good reason why it couldn't be.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 01:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Maybe I'm finding this online dating thing difficult because the whole first step of initial physical attraction is removed. There is no glance across a crowded room. No first smile or handshake or good-God-will-you-take-a-look-at-those ti...ah...never mind.

It's kinda like stepping onto a stopped escalator. Sure you can get yourself to the top just fine, but those first few steps always seem a little awkward and off balance.

Maybe I need some good digital pick up lines. Have any suggestions?

Posted by themightyjimbo at 01:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)

So I'm giving digital dating another go. I tried it a year or so ago for the first time with limited success at best. Pretty much the same results as in my analog romantic life. The occasional date, sometimes getting lucky, but for the most part spending my evenings alone and masturbating to internet porn. I was motivated to give this online dating another go when my sister put up a profile and had like 10,000 hits in pretty much an hour. Admittedly her tits are way better than mine, so maybe that should be expected. Still, I'm the internet geek in the family, so I figured I had better get on top of online dating thing.

Three weeks later I'm just about to break 100 hits.

Woo.

My repeated postings of beefcake photos here notwithstanding, I'm clearly not as hot as I would like to think I am. Eh. I promise this doesn't exactly come as a surprise. That being said, maybe I'm not making the best impression on the site. it's a weird process finding the right words and pictures to sell yourself as a potential mate. And do you know how hard it is for me to find a picture of me where I'm not wearing a bandana and hanging off a rock or in black vinyl pants? Then again, if the object is to present an accurate representation of myself, maybe those aren't bad choices.

Oh who am I kidding. Online dating services are only about dating and almost nothing about dating is honest. And certainly almost nothing on the internet is honest. I'm still waiting for my free Gap jeans as a result of my participation in that email tracking experiment in 1997.

It's the internet dammit. It's all two-dimensional almost totally fantastic and all about the boobs. Heh. A lot like dating after all. When it comes to dating, it's all sales. And selling is rarely ever all that honest. So, what's it gonna take to get you into my pants today?"

If I was to present a totally accurate picture of myself it would something like "SWM, bald and skinny with bad skin and way too much body hair, currently employed as yuppie scum in a job he hates, obsessively vegetarian, hyper-opinionated and Narcissistic, incapable of leaving scabs alone, spends way too much of his life masturbating to internet porn and/or writing about masturbating to internet porn on a very public website, enjoys weekends in a perpetual state of fear, swearing at the top of his lungs at the stupidity of climbing large, vertical rocks, seeking petite, leggy, intelligent but not too intelligent independently wealthy underwear model with auburn hair and blue eyes, a nice, firm rack and a nearly insatiable sexual appetite, into rock climbing, large drooly dogs, mountain sports, international travel to exotic, potentially dangerous locations, techno music, spontaneous blow-jobs, Dave Matthews, and no interest in ever living in a traditional, cookie-cutter suburban neighborhood. Adriana Lima a plus. Destitute dishonest Canadians need not apply.

I'm betting that's not gonna sell too well.

However, I was thinking maybe I should just link my Match profile to my blog considering how many people have told me they want to jump me as a result of this silly little thing. I mean really, it's at least two. Besides, I'm an unashamed internet whore. Why not solidify my status as the biggest whore in bloggerdom?

Like I have all that much competition in that department.

Of course, half of those people who told me they want to jump me are gay men so maybe linking this blog to my dating profile isn't exactly reaching out to my target audience.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 03:11 PM | Permalink | Comments (20)

Ok, mental note, don't EVER piss off SourBob . Just one more reason why you shouldn't steal. Not my stuff. Not Sarah B's. Not Julia's. Not anyone's. And definitely, definitely, not his.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 02:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

So I am generally not too shy about my political opinions around here. Come to think of it, I'm not to shy about my opinions about a lot of things. Politics, puppies, smoking, Canadians, evil ex-girlfriends, my masturbatory habits. It's all fair game.

Regardless, I'm a fiscally moderate (slightly conservative), socially liberal registered independent. And I loathe the George Bush administration. I think his is the most morally, politically, socially, economically, ethically bankrupt regime in generations. And I choose the word regime very carefully.

This is the best link I have been sent in ages.

Even if you disagree with me (and I encourage you to do so), I hope at least some of this makes you think. Political dissent is the most patriotic thing you can do. It's our most precious freedom. And it's eroding away.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 02:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (6)

I was reading on John's site about the pay scale for porn. Apparently the going rate for anal sex is $800-$1000.

WTF? A thousand bucks for a rooting by a porn star? Maybe I'm just a little jaded due to my yuppie, OC lifestyle, but TEN-thousand bucks isn't even gonna get you the tip.

Chuckle. I can almost see half of you cringing while reading this.

OK, OK, so a hundred-thousand wouldn't matter much either as TMJ just don't swing that way. But honestly now. Have you SEEN the size of most male porn stars? Shudder. Those girls are earning that money.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 01:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

It is my sister's birthday today. When we were little she used to antagonize me until I cracked her one upside the head. Then she would cry, I would get sent to my room, and she would peek around the corner in the hallway, gloating that I got punished. Big shit-eating grin on her face.

She's a lawyer today.

Seems kinda fitting, actually.

And yet as often as she antagonized me I have always been strangely close to her - even if she drives me nuts to this very day. When I was in sixth grade, a bully knocked her over with a soccer ball. Crying, she came and found me at recess. Boy did I ever see red. I went and found the bastard, pushed him over and let loose a barrage of obscenities that I shouldn't have used even in the company of drunken merchant marines and biker thugs. Let him know in no uncertain terms what I would do to him unless he apologized to her. I love my sister more than anyone in the whole world. Well, at least as much as my other sister and my brother too. And the dogs. But that's not the point.

Don't ever fuck with her or you will have to deal with me.

Actually, don't ever fuck with her or you will have to deal with HER, and I promise that today, that would be INFINITELY worse. Not only is she related to me, but she's an athlete, a single-mom, Italian, and a lawyer with a serious attitude problem.

Trust me. I will be the least of your worries.

Happy Birthday Paula. I love you more than you will ever possibly know.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 01:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

I'm not alone in getting plagiarized. And not everyone is as good about fessing up as Dave. This really disgusts me. Julia , you have my total support. Any good lawyers want to take a crack at this issue?

Posted by themightyjimbo at 09:54 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)

Dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit. More blog pirates. Roxy77 , I believe these posts (at least) belong to me. And I believe the rest of your site belongs to the illustrious Sarah Brown . Now I am asking YOU nicely as well. Cease and desist. She may be above taking this public. But I am most certainly not. You can screw with me, but don't you dare screw with her.

Abuse@xanga.com. Let them know. And let "her" know too while you are at it.

BTW: I wonder if with all this piracy at Xanga there is grounds for a class action suit. I'm just sayin...

Posted by themightyjimbo at 06:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (14)

I probably would find this amusing if spam commenting on weblogs (namely MY weblog) didn't piss me off so much, but I'm getting buckets of spam for this particular post of mine. Ass cancer to all of you.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 04:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Dooce , you have definitely turned me off pregnancy for good. But you have again made me laugh until milk came out of my nose. Well. Not really. But I'm sure it would have if I could drink milk. But I can't. Lactose intollerant and all that.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 03:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Ok, moving on. Before I do, I just want to say that Jason , you handled this with way, WAY more style and a much better sense of humor than I did. You are clearly the better man. Despite the comb-over and the short-shorts. And I have to admit Dave handled his exposure perhaps better than I handled his discovery. Believe it or not, I was a little humbled.

Enough of that business. We shall never speak of it again. Cause you all know how good I am at letting things go.

Allrightythen...on to better things.

So it's about that time for me to be thinking of a vacation. It's January and it's almost been a year since Thailand. Ugh. Still trying to put that disaster out of my memory.

Sorry. I digress. I know I really ought to just let all that go too, but hell, what good is a weblog called “DigitalCatharsis” if I can't unload all the dirt? And wallow around in it. Make some mud pies...

Jesus, I’m such a little girl about this. We shall never speak of it again. Moving on…

Aside from the company, Thailand was an amazing place. Still the best beach I have ever seen - and some of the best climbing, some of the best food, and some of the best people. But it's about time to find a new amazing place. A long time ago I set a goal of setting foot on all seven continents by the time I was thirty. For those of you who are new here or just really bad at math, I'm a little off on my plan. Two years late and still two continents to go.

So this year it looks like either a cruise to Antarctica or Mardi Gras in Australia - with a little climbing thrown in for good measure. Sure, Australia will have warm beaches and topless women and lots of liquor and did I mention the topless women, but you know Antarctica will have penguins and, um, ah...topless penguins?

Believe it or not, I'm leaning toward Antarctica. I mean, what could be more inviting than high temperatures of 35 degrees, snow, ice, insomnia, the windiest place on the planet, hundreds of miles of choppy, violent seas, seasickness, and thousands of years of frozen penguin shit? It’s paradise!

But me, I'm going for the chicks. Nothing hotter than a girl in a parka.

Honestly, Patagonia and Antarctica look beautiful, and the timing might be right. It’s usually a horribly expensive vacation, and right now, it’s something I might be able to afford. I don’t know how long that will last.

Of course, all these plans might still change (a little) if I decide that this is indeed the year…

Posted by themightyjimbo at 12:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (14)

So it's done. I just checked, and his blog is empty. It appears that Dave or his host or both got the message that plagiarism is unethical and perhaps more importantly, illegal.

Regardless, I'm glad he did the right thing. Dave, thank you.

And thanks to all of you who have shown your support. I love you all.

This was an eye-opening experience. When I first found the site, I was angry when I thought he had just ripped off a poem of mine. But I could deal with that. But as I read entry after entry pulled word for word from my life, the stories of my family and friends, my travels and observations, my loves and loves lost, I felt furious. I felt disgusted. And frankly, I felt violated.

It was like a rape of my story and voice.

What I can't understand is WHY. The beauty of weblogs is it gives all of us a voice. Our own voice. A way to be heard. A way to be published. Use that voice. If you can't find inspiration in your own life, make something up. It's the internet afterall. Half of the stuff on it is pure bullshit anyway.

Just don't take it from someone else. It may well be bullshit, but it's still my bullshit.

Addendum: Dave and I have finally communicated and he apologized for his judgement. He sounds like a good guy who made a mistake, and I'm glad he had the courage to contact me directly. As I mentioned before, I harbor no ill will toward him. I'm glad he made the right decision, and I do honestly hope he finds his own voice for his future digital adventures.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 12:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (12)

Sadly, "His" site is still up, and "his" stories are still there. I have gone through all his archives and found most of his journal entries are in fact mine or Jason's . Some Sarah Brown stories as well.

Please contact abuse@xanga.com until this site is removed or his plagiarized entries are deleted.

If you want to see the full list of stolen material from me, you can find it here...

Here is the complete list of entries plagiarized from my own writings. The first link is his. The subsequent links are to my original pieces. I haven't checked how many comments he has stolen as well, but it appears to be quite a few on certain entries.

This is terribly, terribly sad. Not only is he taking credit for my words and my life, but Jesus, dude, couldn't you find a more interesting life to steal than MINE?

Better yet, how about you just live your own.

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=53643298 http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000581.html

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=52923708
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000571.html#000571

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=50883049
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000171.html#000171 http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/storyframe.htm

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=50568112
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000564.html

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=49792392
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000562.html#000562
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000536.html#000536

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=49333782 >
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000540.html#000540

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=48571670
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000382.html#000382

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=48218231
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000478.html#000478

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=7%2F31%2F2003&cal=1
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000310.html#000310

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=5%2F8%2F2003&cal=1
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2003_01_19_archives.htm

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=47763545
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000492.html#000492

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=10665828
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2003_01_19_archives.htm

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=46530572
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2002_12_22_archives.htm

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=43437733
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000397.html#000397

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=43127245
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000397.html#000397

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=42271286 http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000392.html#000392

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=41857778
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000222.html#000222

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=40140499
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000129.html#000129

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=39466316
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000213.html#000213

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=39240598 http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000360.html#000360

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=38958687
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000359.html#000359

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=38470776 http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000366.html#000366

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=38266501
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000387.html#000387
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000226.html#000226

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=37802206 http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000387.html#000387

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=37288880 http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000322.html#000322

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=35737054
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2002_07_14_archives.htm

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=34866349
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000170.html#000170

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=33735307
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000169.html#000169

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=33330296
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2002_10_06_archives.htm

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=32395026
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000093.html#000093
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2002_06_23_archives.htm

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=30828398
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000178.html#000178

http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=UniX_03&tab=weblogs&uid=30586458
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blogframe.htm
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blogframe.htm

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=8%2F17%2F2003&cal=1 http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000342.html#000342

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=7%2F21%2F2003&cal=1
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000253.html#000253

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=7%2F11%2F2003&cal=1 http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2002_09_22_archives.htm

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=7%2F7%2F2003&cal=1
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2002_10_06_archives.htm

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=7%2F2%2F2003&cal=1
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/storyframe.htm

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=6%2F29%2F2003&cal=1 http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2002_10_20_archives.htm

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=6%2F25%2F2003&cal=1
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2002_11_24_archives.htm

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=6%2F9%2F2003&cal=1
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2002_08_18_archives.htm

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=6%2F6%2F2003&cal=1
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2002_07_28_archives.htm

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=5%2F23%2F2003&cal=1 http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000103.html#000103

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=5%2F21%2F2003&cal=1 http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000108.html#000108
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2002_08_25_archives.htm
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2003_02_09_archives.htm
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2003_02_09_archives.htm

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=5%2F19%2F2003&cal=1 http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2002_08_04_archives.htm
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2002_04_07_archives.htm

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=5%2F17%2F2003&cal=1 http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2002_09_29_archives.htm

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=5%2F3%2F2003&cal=1 http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2002_05_05_archives.htm

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?calMove=4/2003&user=UniX_03&nextdate=5%2F1%2F2003&cal=1#calendar http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2002_07_21_archives.htm

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=4%2F24%2F2003&cal=1
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000117.html

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=4%2F15%2F2003&cal=1 http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000109.html

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=3%2F31%2F2003&cal=1
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/blog/000022.html#000022

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=3%2F25%2F2003&cal=1
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2003_01_19_archives.htm

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=3%2F17%2F2003&cal=1 http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2002_07_14_archives.htm

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=3%2F15%2F2003&cal=1
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2002_06_30_archives.htm

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=3%2F14%2F2003&cal=1
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2002_06_02_archives.htm

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=2%2F3%2F2003&cal=1
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2003_01_19_archives.htm

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=2%2F1%2F2003&cal=1
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2002_09_15_archives.htm

http://www.xanga.com/skin.asp?user=UniX_03&nextdate=1%2F20%2F2003&cal=1
http://www.digitalcatharsis.com/archive/2002_10_27_archives.htm

Posted by themightyjimbo at 07:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (10) | TrackBacks (2)

I am being pirated.

I am flattered by the immitation, but if you want to use my words, you better give me credit.

This person is stealing all my posts and using them as his own. He has gone so far as to take a private journal entry I have under my "stories" link, a post I wrote in 1993, and has changed the names to make it his own. Almost every entry I have read on his site is pulled directly from my archives.

This is horribly insulting to me. It is also unethical. And illegal.

I am asking you nicely to stop.

I could accept piracy maybe if you were Johnny Depp and holding a sword to my head. But you are so not Johnny.

Again, I'm asking you to stop.

And I'm asking all the people who read this to ask him to stop as well. If you enjoy this site, please email him and let him know what you think of what he is doing. Comment on his entries and let his readers know he is not only taking credit for my words, but for my life. His theft goes back months and months. He has stolen dozens of entries from my life. Stories about my loves and lost loves. My emotions. My experiences. My blog is deeply, deeply personal, and the closest thing I have to art. Stealing these words is like stealing my life.

Please contact his host at abuse@xanga.com and report this violation.

PS: For the record, he is even stealing the COMMENTS from my site and making them his own.

Now that just REEKS of something ugly.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 08:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (31)

Coming home from Joshua Tree last week, I was again reminded of why so many people want to live in the desert. It looked like someone had set the sky on fire. Only without the whole Apocalyptic, brimstone and mass-destruction one would usually expect with such an event. What a way to start the year. My first V4 boulder problem in J-Tree, good friends, and this sunset.

On nights like that, I can imagine it's hard not to believe in God.

A few more reasons why you all should probably get outside a lot more than you do.

One Two Three Four Five

Posted by themightyjimbo at 10:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (7)

My favorite print advertisement ever. Says everything it needs to say quite loudly and yet with remarkable subtlety.

That and it always makes me laugh. I am so not above sophomoric humor.

For those of you who don't live in OC or don't read the OC Weekly, this ad runs pretty much weekly there. If you want to see a fun animated version of the ad, and because this cracks me up weekly I'm totally not opposed to the blatant endorsement of smut peddlers, you can find their link here .

Posted by themightyjimbo at 03:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

And for some totally random trivia since I have been so reliable at updating this blog recently (like you have been all that reliable in READING it - look buddy, I check the logs).

My ex-sweetie who got married and moved to Montana a couple months back has two beautiful pit-bulls. And a toy poodle who rules the roost, but that's a totally different story. Regardless, she has two Staffordshire Red-nosed Pits, and the male is better than 100 pounds. He is truly an impressive animal.

I'm pretty sure he could take down a full-grown bull hippo given half a chance. OK, he may not get the whole hippo, but he would almost certainly get a leg. Or two. He is about as thick as he is tall with neck muscles to make an offensive lineman envious. Tossing chew toys to this dog was like sending Christians to a lion. He would tear through a rope tug in mere minutes. I finally had to invest in a good length of half-inch welded steel chain in order to play tug with him.

He is a truly fearsome little beastie.

And yet this red-nosed and toothy hound of hell with the evil yellow eyes loves, LOVES to ride the slides at the playground.

I am so not kidding about this.

When we would take walks to the park, he would run up the steps of the slides and launch himself down the slide in a crouch, ears back, tongue out, and a huge doggie smile on his face. Upon hitting the ground he would wiggle around, his tail wagging his whole body, and he would turn and run right back up the ladder to do it again.

I'm sure park management wasn't exactly keen about this, but seriously, are YOU going to ask him to stop?

I didn't think so.

Posted by themightyjimbo at 10:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (6)