What's a tidbit anyway?
Tids and Bits...
A. Whoever wrote this worm that is spoofing everyone's email and subsequently constipating my Yahoo account deserves a good, healthy case of ass cancer. Seriously uber-geek, you really, really need a girlfriend if this is what you call a good time. Little secret for you, the blow jobs you could be receiving are way, WAY more fun than the ones you will be giving once the feds send you away for ten to twenty. Why don't you put down your guide to conversational Klingon and pick up some Dale Carnegie. Trust me. It's better here.
B. I went to the dentist this morning. I had three cavities. Needless to say, this was a little shocking. I have never had a single cavity. In fact, until just this morning, I was under the false impression that I had perfect teeth. I subsequently had to spend half of my morning with my jaw propped painfully open. I have new respect for porn stars. And there’s nothing quite so disturbing as the smell of something burning inside your own head as they drill holes into your face. Sadly, the Novocain has worn off and the not entirely unpleasant puffy feeling in my gums has been replaced with a throbbing pain that is filling my head like the clang of a bell. These are the days I could really use a girlfriend. I am just desperately in need of a scalp massage and a nice warm bosom to lie against for a while at least until the Advil starts to kick into gear. I'll even promise lots of oral sex in return. Only not today.
C. I'm a blogroller. Thanks Hal for the fix. New links are there and more will be coming. Enjoy them all. I know I do.
4. My sister is 31 today. She’s the other smart one in the family. Sure the younger two got the brawn, but Sherri and I can totally kick their asses at Trivial Pursuit. She got the boobs too which I know must have royally pissed my other sister off. For the record, I ended up with a fairly decent rack myself, but I'm pretty sure Sherri doesn't have to wax hers nearly as often as I have to wax mine. Happy birthday Sissy. I love you despite the fact you still live in Texas.
F. Don't hate me because I’m beautiful and debt free and get to waste obscene amounts of money on trendy tech toys like this . It's the light saber for the Jedi salesman. And it is now sitting on my desk. This makes me Alpha male among nerdy, gadget-crazy Silicon Valley road warriors. I got the comfortable shoes, the iPod, the backpack, the two laptops, the wardrobe of black, black, black, and dark grey, and now the Treo. All I need is an Audi, an MBA from Stanford, and a hot girlfriend who shops only at organic grocery stores and I'm ready for my condo in South of Market.
Comments
sigh, i still haven't made the list, doh!
Posted by: brent | January 27, 2004 09:47 PM
Jimbo, for you, my bosom is always warm, ergonomically supportive, and waiting for you. I'm of the opinion that breasts' true evolutionary purpose is to serve as the perfect pillow.
Posted by: Elizabeth | January 28, 2004 04:37 AM
You're my new favorite yuppie. (duck)
Posted by: sid | January 28, 2004 06:51 AM
Was that a trusted, reputable dentist?? Here in Miami I went to the dentist to fix a filling that had fallen out, and in my check up she told me that I had 10 cavities. That's right, ten! Needless to say, I was incredulous, because how could that possibly happen to someone who brushes AND flosses regularly (I might be lying about the flossing)? I went to a second dentist, who told me that I had ZERO cavities. This was after I had already let the crazy one drill into one quarter of my mouth. Yeah. Not happy. Guess who called the American Dental Association??? That's malpractice, people!!
Posted by: Amber | January 28, 2004 06:58 AM
nope. they had a little camera they use to take pics of my teeth and put them on the tv screen. i saw the holes with my own eyes. two were very, very small. the other, well, it needed a good spackling.
Posted by: the mighty jimbo | January 28, 2004 07:36 AM
I thought suv's were the new audi's?
Posted by: liz | January 28, 2004 07:57 AM
You climb mountains. You dangle perilously from pieces of thread hundreds of feet in the air -- likely without any real thought as to the full extent of your peril.
You have probably experienced broken bones, abrased hands, knees, and arms -- all in the middle of a climb with no other choice but to continue, up or down....
Yet, you have three little cavities filled and speak of the pain as if you'd just had an amputation without meds -- and discuss that you HAVE to wax your chest often.
Then, suddenly, you're Bill Gates, bragging about your wads of cash and your new gadgets...but a well dressed Bill Gates with dreams of driving a trendy car and being with a woman who is socially and dietetically conscious.
So many contradictions....
You are a complex fellow.
Posted by: Tim | January 28, 2004 09:29 AM
I have an Audi and I only shop at organic grocery stores. I've also got two laptops and the black & dark grey wardrobe. I guess I'd better get crackin' on the iPod, Treo, and Stanford MBA, and then I'll be the Ultimate Yuppie™.
Posted by: Kat | January 28, 2004 09:48 AM
so, when are you going to get the cookies fixed on the comments, so we don't have to fill in the boxes every time? ;)
Schedule yourself a little time... just jot it down in your PDA...
Posted by: mia | January 28, 2004 11:10 AM
A. Virus writers should have nads ripped off and fed to their kernel which would then be recompiled. (Don't know what it means, it just sounds nasty. Okay I DO know what means and I am a geek, but not in the Carnegie Who? fashion.)
B.Why is that dental assistants are always really hot, but your gums are bleeding, and you can only smile out of one side of your face, and spittle is oozing uncontrollably from the other side. So you just sit there hoping she doesn't notice.
C. Uh, huh. (foot taps)
4. I assume you are the only one in your family that both waxes and waxes FOR boobs, if only to rest your head upon.
F. I have gadget envy and suddenly feel less masculine. I will probably watch Sports Center tonight.
Posted by: Ed | January 28, 2004 03:26 PM
I was going to say something like a smartass.
Then I recalled that scene from The Big Chill. When the big LA superstar comes back for his college friend's funeral. They're all sitting around talking about how their lives have changes. It's Tom Berenger's character.
He says,"In Hollywood, I don't know who to trust. I don't know who likes me or why they even do like me."
Kevin Klein looks at him and says,"Well you don't have that problem here. You know I don't like you."
A true inspiration.
Posted by: melly | January 28, 2004 08:06 PM