I'm at least as cute as Andrew McCarthy, aren't I?
Ya know, when it's the week before Valentines Day and you are staying in a hotel with a large Victoria's Secret in the lobby, and several times a day you have to walk past those mannequins in fancy little panties and those displays filled with fancy little panties and those pictures of models (goodlordallmighty those models) in fancy little panties, and it's been positively eons since the last time you actually saw a pair of fancy little panties in your bedroom or more importantly on the floor of your bedroom, it can make you really fucking depressed that you don't have someone to buy those fancy little panties for on Valentines Day.
Speaking of Victoria's Secret, I'm not sure just who is modeling for mannequins these days, but seriously, if you know her, give her my number. I remember when a mannequin was a basic, plastic representation of the human shape. Not to sound TOO creepy, but today, they have abs. And curves. And cute little butt dimples. And nipples. Nipples! Oddly enough they have no heads, but they have nipples. Heh. There are a number of men reading this thinking, “at least they got their priorities straight.” Really now, even the mannequins in Old Navy are hotter than any of the women I've ever been lucky enough to go out with. Frankly, the mannequins in Old Navy are so hot that if they were actually real women they sure as hell wouldn't be shopping in Old Navy.
Where is a 1980s version of Kim Catrall when I need her?
I'm going to bed.
Comments
For the record, I'd be happy to have some of those fancy little panties from VS. And, as you well know, I'd be happy to have you take them off and throw them on the bedroom floor. Just wanted you to know you have a *potential* valentine out there!
Posted by: kg | February 6, 2004 05:35 AM
A gay male friend of mine had to leave a J. Crew because he found himself way too turned on by the mannequins. He thought he might end up doing something appropriate to one of them.
Posted by: red | February 6, 2004 09:51 AM
Hmmm. I think maybe, Jim, you need to date more.
[[place concerned look here]]
Posted by: NetChick | February 6, 2004 10:38 AM
If I am ever in a mall and see Meshach Taylor, I will run to the nearest Victoria's Secret and start making out with one of the mannequins.
Also, women that hot do shop at Old Navy. You're just not going to the right store locations.
Posted by: Kat | February 6, 2004 10:52 AM
The fancy panties on the floor come after you TALK to those girls in the suede boots!
Posted by: DeeGee | February 6, 2004 11:13 AM
for the record, they weren't boots. they were punky cloggy mary janey sorta shoes.
and i was talking to her.
but despite how friendly she was, i didn't get enough of a return vibe to continue talking to her. or to show some balls and invite her to lunch or coffee or something.
and in my defense, if you are in the westin st francis and wearing maroon suede shoes, generally speaking you are not there on business but there with a boy.
besides. she was uber hot and i didn't have a chance.
mostly cause i'm a total pussy.
Posted by: the mighty jimbo | February 6, 2004 11:29 AM
Mannequins are cute and all, but it's generally bad play to hook up with a girl who's harder than you.
Posted by: sid | February 6, 2004 12:35 PM
uber hot sportin suede shoes... you KNOW she was rockin the fancy panties.
wish she did return the vibe; i'm ready for you to get some mind-blowing sex, so you can tell us all the details!
Posted by: DeeGee | February 6, 2004 01:14 PM
this post cracked me up.
i've never noticed the butt dimples before, though. i've never really LOOKED there.
Posted by: julia | February 6, 2004 04:46 PM
OK Jim. You are starting to scare me. These are mannequins, OK? Are you sure you are alright?
But I don't understand the Andrew McCarthy reference.
Posted by: Miel | February 8, 2004 09:23 PM
Andrew McCarthy + Kim Catrall + 80's = 'Mannequin' (am I THAT old? Jeezus...I am)
Posted by: Tracy | February 13, 2004 02:09 PM