Digital Catharsis: Hard to talk about.

So they are marketing a number of new erectile disfunction drugs. Mike Ditka is pitching one. This confuses the hell out of me because Iron Mike isn't EXACTLY the first person that comes to mind when I think about getting a boner. I recognize that ED is a sensitive issue and that the drug companies are reaching out to the 50+, AARP crowd, but I'm pretty sure that Carmen Electra is still higher up on the woody scale than Bob Dole for even my grandfather. I'm not totally certain, but I'll take that bet.

One drug in particular, Cialis, is marketing itself as effective for 36 hours. 36 hours? I've had some pretty aerobic sessions in the bedroom, but 36 hours is like a lovemaking Eco Challenge. That requires a Camelback and a whole bunch of Gorp. And some serious industrial strength lube cause after 36 hours of anything, trust me, there's gonna be some chaffing.

And frankly, who the hell wants a boner for 36 hours anyway? I've had that before. It's called puberty, and to be honest, it wasn't all that much fun. I wonder if the warning label on the package says "Not for use with boxer shorts or sweat pants." Come to think of it, puberty ought to come with that warning label too.

Comments

let me tell you--bob dole is definately not who I think about when I get BONER.

Posted by: sabrina_C | March 17, 2004 12:29 AM

Hell, I'd be happy with 36 minutes. I admit, I've lowered my expectations in an all-out effort to ward off disappointment.

Posted by: Glovia | March 17, 2004 05:51 AM

Cialis gets you READY over a 36 hour period. I'm not quite sure what that means, since the voiceover says in a low, rapid tone, "ifyouexperienceanerectionformorethanfourhoursseeksmedicalattentionimmediately..." So I'm guessing that you aren't actually hard for 36 hours. THe first time that ad came on, the husband heard the warning and said, yikes! I said, "Oh, that's not that long." To which he replied, "Who did you date...?" Reluctant to name exboyfriends, I left the room giggling. I still do, and it comes on A LOT! So, boys...is a four hour session rare?

Posted by: xdm | March 17, 2004 06:10 AM

I had a boner 24/7 during puberty; it was the worse time of my life. I wonder if the new drugs come with braces and high-tops?

Posted by: Donnie | March 17, 2004 07:18 AM

Is a four hour session rare? Not for Vince Vaughn. ;)

But yeah, that's cause for concern. Back in the day, I had hard-ons a cat couldn't scratch, but none of them lasted FOUR hours.

Posted by: AVERAGE JOE | March 17, 2004 08:36 AM

So that's what Camelback's are for...

Posted by: jaden | March 17, 2004 10:00 AM

RAGING SWEATPANTS BONER!

*ahem*

Posted by: Chair | March 17, 2004 11:15 AM

when you have the lesbian asian twins you might need the cialis to convince them to go bi.

Posted by: tassy | March 17, 2004 03:20 PM

I read that in France it is given a nickname like 'le weekender' due to the fact that it is useful when going with one's mistress for a weekend fling. When nothing must go wrong...and one must be always ready.

Poor men!

Posted by: miel | March 17, 2004 07:50 PM

ya know, all I keep think about were two facts... 1. Sting, tantric sex, marathon all month sex...
2. Pigs have 30 minute orgasms... weird trivia.

This is the hardest *cough* I have have laughed all week!

Posted by: dorothy | March 17, 2004 10:00 PM

Soon the competing erection drug companies will go head-to-head (ahem) and start sponsoring Super Bowl halftime megamercials like BonerBowl IV.

Dole and Ditka will swordfight on live TV and the winner gets a weekend with Paris Hilton and a cameo in some bukkake film.

Posted by: sid | March 18, 2004 06:12 AM

yay! someone wrote bukakke in your journal! congrats smutboi!!!

Posted by: tassy | March 19, 2004 12:01 AM

It all comes down to bukkake.
(duck)

Posted by: sid | March 19, 2004 12:19 AM