I left my appetite.
So I’m back in San Francisco. Back downtown. Back at the St. Francis. Back at Millennium for dinner.
I have a strange relationship with San Francisco. All the things I love about where I live are what I hate about San Francisco. All the things I hate about where I live are what I love about San Francisco. I like having San Francisco close. I like escaping to the Bay Area for a little fling. I like having her around for those times when I’m sick to death of SoCal and silicone and smog. San Francisco is like that girlfriend I can’t seem to leave completely. We both know that there’s no way it will work out long term, but when we do get together, we really like to fuck.
San Francisco is a city of amazing contrasts. It’s loud and yet intimate. It is mild and temperate but blisteringly cold. It is dirty and disheveled and remarkably green. It’s suave and sophisticated and grungy and rarely shaves it’s armpits. It physically fit and smoking a joint. It’s quirky and independent and artistic and wildly commercial. It’s destitute and shockingly affluent. It’s timeless and living on borrowed time. It’s a pinstripe suit and studded leather chaps.
Damn I do so dig this town. Really, there’s no place like it anywhere.
So I’m sitting here at Millennium typing away, it’s been 70 degrees and sunny today, and I just finished the most amazing dish of abalone mushroom “sushi" with this inconceivable pinenut “rice” and wonderful wasabi dressing. I swear to God I almost licked the plate.
If you have never had them, you really have no idea what you are missing. I am now thoroughly convinced that abalone mushroom is the single best thing I have ever placed in my mouth. Ever.
Think of it as fungal sashimi. Umm, only better. Ok, so maybe fungal sashimi doesn’t sound all that appetizing for even a starving billy goat, but you are gonna have to take my word on this. It’s incredible. A mushroom with the texture of tuna and a light, smooth flavor.
I just know this dinner is going to ding my expense account for just short of the liposuction I’m going to need to remove it from my hips, and I really ought to jog to Newport to burn off these calories. But seriously, unless this place starts providing complimentary blow jobs in the back, I don’t think they could have made this meal any better. And since it’s a vegan restaurant I’m pretty sure blow jobs are off the menu.
Then again, it is close to the Tenderloin, so you never can tell.
Comments
i will give you the complimentary blow job in the back...and there are a lot of GREAT things close to, and even in, the Tenderloin.
The Phoenix Hotel, for instance.
In any case, I loved this writing. The first part about SF as a woman, a love affair...I dig it. Lots. Bravo. Let's fuck.
Posted by: tassy | April 28, 2004 11:45 PM
That's one of the best descriptions of San Francisco that I've ever read. Well said.
You care to get drinks tomorrow? I'm meeting some friends at the City Club (downtown) after work. You're welcome to join.
Posted by: peter | April 29, 2004 12:19 AM
I am a San Francisco virgin.
I've never been there, but my husband and I are going to be spending one glorious week there in July. I had been looking forward to it: "mmmhmm, yah, we're going on vacation-la dee dah."
But now, I am so excited to go! Thanks so much for that. Just the kick in the ass I needed.
Posted by: lisa | April 29, 2004 05:15 AM
I absolutely love SF. My brother, who lives in SoCal, despised the Bay Area for a long time, but even he's coming around. The city works its magic on you.
Since you're on an expense account... hell, even on your own dime... check out the Tadich Grill. It's on California between Battery and Front. Unbelievable seafood. It's only been there for 150 years (seriously). Try the cioppino or the calamari steak.
Posted by: AVERAGE JOE | April 29, 2004 06:46 AM
As though I don't eat enough weird shit, you now have me searching frantically for abalone mushrooms. I love sushi, I love mushrooms...this sounds like a wet dream on a plate to me.
Posted by: Shawn | April 29, 2004 06:54 AM
Man... now I'm so hungry, I could eat the wings off a low-flying duck. :{
Posted by: AVERAGE JOE | April 29, 2004 09:20 AM
tassy: now THAT'S a comment. Unf. Let's. Soon. MUAH!
pete: love to, but i'm off to portland in a few hours. maybe this weekend if i'm still here.
lisa: summer is the coldest time of the year. bring a wool coat. last june i spent here it was 57 and foggy most of the day. trust me. i'm so not joking.
shawn: i'll have what you're having. ;-)
Posted by: the mighty jimbo | April 29, 2004 03:24 PM
I SO miss The City... that's how everyone in San Jose referred to San Francisco...The City...capitals a MUST!
Loved your description...you definitely have a way with words!
Posted by: Calichick | April 30, 2004 07:12 AM
Is this abalone + mushrooms, or a specific type of mushroom named after the abalone? Either way, sounds wonderful.
There's nothing quite like good asian-fusion, and SF is the only place to get it. If you'll be in town for a while, I recommend the pricey Asia de Cuba, which serves this excellent pesto shrip concoction, and the slightly less costly but tourist-impacted E&O Trading company.
Just a few of the many fruits that The (most wonderful) City has to offer...
Posted by: shesanightowl | April 30, 2004 09:50 PM
I *so* need to go to that restaurant - its a good thing I'll be in town in about 12 weeks, and for a decent visit (oh, I love non-teaching semesters and visiting fellowships).
Posted by: cassie | May 1, 2004 05:30 AM
I love San Francisco. I just couldn't afford to live there. *sob*
I took a TEFL course there when I graduated from college. I lived in the city for a month, and really didn't want to leave. I vastly prefer it over SoCal, but I'm stuck here now.
Posted by: dawn | May 1, 2004 10:47 AM