Yes Virginia, there is a Mighty Jimbo.
I'm in Virginia. They tell me Virginia is for lovers but my lover is 3000 miles away. Maybe Virginia is for frustrated, frequent masturbators stuck in corporate training centers, but I bet that doesn't look quite as good on a bumper sticker.
All for the best I suppose. I'm sick with some weird infection making my lymph nodes feel like golf balls and my throat feel like sandpaper, so I shouldn’t be much of a lover to anyone right now anyway. Besides, this is supposedly a good class, and I'm excited to take it. Well, as excited as I can get about server and storage technologies.
I'm on a huge training campus outside of DC. I'm in a room reminiscent of my dorm days, only smaller and with better furniture and without the lingering stench of stale beer and rotting pizza boxes. Reminds me of those years as an RA at NAU. Nineteen year old boys really are just a few polymorphisms removed from chimpanzees. Only chimps have better eating habits. And they don't hurl as much shit.
So I flew east this morning at nine. I really would rather not have. And not just because I left the prettiest girl in the world in San Francisco. I hate to fly on Sundays.
I was commenting the other day that bloggers (or “digital journalists” for a certain pink pigtailed reader who really hates that term) are in many ways like super-heroes. They have secret identities. They refer to each other by strange nicknames. Their exploits are well documented, read by multitudes of creepy fan-boys, and are often wildly exaggerated. Some of us even have superpowers. Dooce can make constipation wildly funny. Halcyon can make any outfit work. Me, I can fly.
Well, I can fly better than virtually anyone. I can get in and out of any city in any airport, anywhere in the country faster and more comfortably than anyone. And I can do it indefinitely with just one roller bag and one backpack and less than an hour of prep time. If you fly you rapidly learn to never, EVER fly on a Sunday. Sunday is amateur hour at the airport. Sunday is Kryptonite for the road warrior.
I had to fly on a Sunday. Apparently so did fifty fourteen year old kids, all behaving like fourteen year old kids. On my flight. On a 737. For five hours. Not including the hour we spent on the ground to replace a couple tires.
Thank God for iPods and good, loud headphones.
iPods, however, do not prevent awkward fourteen year old girls with no sense of social protocol or personal space from keeping their especially bony elbows in your ribs (or shoulder or arm or stomach) for the entirety of the flight.
I think I have totally discovered why rich, white people send their children to boarding school. They keep the kids around for the cute, well-behaved phase, ship them off for puberty, and then get to reacquire them after college. Sounds like a near perfect plan to me.
Regardless, I made it here alive. I'm here all week, but my schedule looks grim for any attempts to socialize. Wednesday night is a possibility. I could be talked into staying next weekend if I can find a place to crash. It's been a decade since I last visited DC, and I'm anxious to give it another go. I have some good digital and real friends in the area, and I would dig on the idea of seeing them. If you are a DC local, and want to attempt a visit in meat-space, ping me. I'm not overly optimistic, but there is always a chance.
Comments
I'm not quite close enough. Instead, to occupy your free time and make good use of your illness, go make out with Dubya for a couple of hours and give him whatever you've got. Do it for your COUNTRY, man!
Posted by: wheezy joe | May 17, 2004 07:52 AM
Here are your options:
Thursday: shirtless men drink free at the Green Lantern
Friday: FREE opera suaree near Logan Circle. Refreshments will be served.
Saturday: Rockin' Syttende Mai party.
Posted by: jimbo east | May 17, 2004 08:02 AM
I'm up for something, but it must be cheap. Will be busy Friday, I think, but possible open Wednesday.
Posted by: Devorah | May 17, 2004 12:13 PM
you should go into stealth mode and take back the white house...reeeeaugh! and then go to esl music, on eighth street - yes, Eighth Street Lounge, and tell them never ever to hire burning retina lighting ever again, and say hi to thievery for me. :P
Posted by: tassy | May 17, 2004 12:33 PM
ESL on 8th? Did they have to move from 18th St.? What's up with that?
Posted by: wheezy joe | May 17, 2004 12:50 PM
oi! i'm on crack. joe's right, i'm not awake yet - EIGHTEENTH street lounge...either way, rob and eric are still there and they should still hire me first :P
Posted by: tassy | May 17, 2004 01:20 PM
Jimbo - if you head over to 18th St. Lounge, ping me (or someone else local)for directions. It can be a little tricky to find for first timers. (No sign on the door - - right beside the Mattress Discounters...up the stairs. If you think you are in the wrong place, then you are in the right place.)
Posted by: xdm | May 17, 2004 01:25 PM
The fourteen year old girls around here are all into the Paris Hilton short skirts now. I understand it's a trend, and I can understand wearing them to a party or something like that. But they're wearing them to the fucking GROCERY STORE. I'm sure it would be hot watching them stand there in their little skirts and their high heeled flip flops, feeling melons, but they're FOURTEEN.
I'm so glad that I had a boy. And if in twelve years he tells me he wants to start wearing skirts, I'm sure he'll pick out something much more tasteful and age-appropriate.
Posted by: melly | May 17, 2004 01:48 PM
How odd. Only a week ago I would have suggested at least meeting for a beer (even though you don't know me or my hubby) but that'd be hard to do now. We just moved from DC to San Francisco a week and a half ago. Packed everything up on a Saturday, rented a minivan and headed to our new home in Noe Valley. So a lot of good I can do you now. I can, however, offer up some suggestions on where to eat or where to hang out. If you're interested.
While I totally love San Francisco, you're making me miss my previous, non-state home. And if you're sad that you missed Bay the Breakers, I have some pretty bizarre pictures up.
Posted by: mihow | May 17, 2004 02:34 PM
No, No, No. Virginia is NOT for lovers. It's for losing your temper in all the effin' traffic. I live in Jersey but travel to VA often and the traffic I hit there every goddamn time I visit is worse than ours.
Being such a good flyer, got any tips on AP in Atlanta? I'm switching flights there next week - never been in that one and I've never heard a pleasant thing about it. I'm travelling on a Thursday and don't want to stand out like the amateur that I am . . .
Posted by: Lynne | May 17, 2004 02:48 PM
I might suggest trying these eateries:
Rice (14th)
Ben's Chili bowl (U Street)
Pasta Mia's (Adam's Morgan)
Thai Tanic (14th Street)
Jaleo (I love(d) this place)
and if for some reason you're vegan (like my husband) give The Asylum a go. The interior is goofy as all hell, but the food is pretty good (for brunch).
For drinks you might try the Fox and Hound. But if you order a mixed drink, beware of the size. It's all booze. You will get intoxicated for a low, low price.
Red Room at the Black Cat is fun. And if you enjoy Pool, Bedrock is super. Saint Ex as well. I'm rambling. I'll stop.
Posted by: mihow | May 17, 2004 02:54 PM
andale (DC).
best. mexican. food. ever.
not to mention, home of the only x-tra special margarita in celebration of the cicada invasion.
peace.
Posted by: claire | May 17, 2004 03:35 PM
um.
claire.
you are claiming that a place in DC has the best mexican food ever?
to a guy who lives in socal? grew up in tucson? who's family lives in texas?
that's a bold statement.
isn't that a little like me claiming cali has the best italian food? or bbq?
Posted by: the mighty jimbo | May 17, 2004 03:50 PM
I feel your traveling pain.
On our 6 hour flight back from Mexico, the French lady across the aisle from us insisted on changing the baby's poopy diaper ON THE SEAT and then putting the dirty diaper in the seat-back pocket. I don't know if that shit flies in France, but lady this is AMERICAN AIRLINES and hell if I am going to keep my big mouth shut. Yeah, and UP YOURS to the people with the toddler in first class. You all should be smacked.
If you want to help me with my start up company, this is my revolutionary idea : an adult airline - NO KIDS ALLOWED. Let Delta and Frontier be the 'family' airlines and leave the major airlines to the Road Warriors. Fuck Tards.
Posted by: mia | May 17, 2004 07:56 PM
I've been to Rice, too and I love it! And Jaleo.
I like Pizza Paradiso, too, and the Cafe Japone for sushi.
I like food too much.
Posted by: Devorah | May 17, 2004 11:06 PM
My studio is probably much smaller than your hotel room, but there's floor space if you want to crash (no shit hurling chips either). It's a nice neighborhood though, right around the corner from the infamous ESL. I'm going to the hfstival on Saturday though. You're welcome to come with if you are staying in town. A little ol' school Cure and Femmes meet JayZ, Modest Mouse and about 20 other bands. (http://www.whfs.com/bands_main.php)
lates--
Posted by: jody | May 18, 2004 07:45 PM