It's not you Jim. It's fun, but not you. Do you really feel comfortable? I doubt it. You know what you should do. I just don't think you have the balls to. I know I wouldn't.

Hmm....I wish I had nerve to go pink!

glovia, you have plenty big balls to have posted that comment.

Sure, you put yourself out there, and keep the comments on. I think you're attempting to align yourself with a lifestyle not your own. Like you're desperately looking for something. Aren't we all? It comes across as not real from you. You're way smarter than that.

g: that was more appropriately put. thank you.

everybody: i'm really good at taking criticism when i'm the target and it's my feelings at risk. but i'm going to take offense when someone else's feelings are at risk.

yeah, i leave that door open when i post entries like this. i'll accept that responsibility. but just cause the door is open doesn't make it right to waltz on in. if you do, don't be surprised if i throw you out.

Taking criticism when you're the target? Don't be such a martyr. It's just an opinion. It's like open therapy where you put your life online, and anyone is welcome to comment on it. Waltz on it? throw you out? Who else's feelings are at risk here? Someone that you put out there? If people are being mean, that's understandable. But just to comment. To give an opinion based on reading how you feel for the last I don't even know how long. I guess that makes me pretty lame. But it is entertaining, and sometimes relieving to hear that someone else feels and goes through some of the same things I do. However, it's like you vacillate between self-deprecation, being a truly nice guy, and being one cocky a-hole. That part I don't understand.

You know what you should do. I just don't think you have the balls to. I know I wouldn't.

perhaps i'm incredibly dense, what is it that jimbo doesn't have the balls to do? someone fill me in.

i am a cocky asshole and have made that quite clear to everyone since i started writing. i am also occasionally a reasonably nice guy. all part of the same package.

the concern i had with your original comment, glovia, and several other comments that people have been making over the past few weeks, involves tact. there is a big difference between the intention of a comment and the actual result of it's execution. the right to comment does include the right to be rude. and frankly, i found your first comment rude.

why did i find it (and others like it) rude? because assumptions and suggestions are being made about stories that i have written that involve other people. other real people. with real feelings. i am rarely offended with any comment directed at me or posts about my life or my opinions or whatever. but the minute there is friend or family or lover involved, i am going to bristle.

for the record, i think your second comment clarified your intention and your message, and i did not find it offensive at all. in fact, i appreciated it and your concern.

No, not dense, you just smoke alot, so it's hard to understand. Ew, I can scarcely stop myself.

Glovia - maybe you *should* stop yourself. maybe i don't understand what you said because your writing is vague and doesn't come right to the point. i'm guessing after your subsequent comments that you don't think tmj fits into my lifestyle but that doesn't explain why you said you yourself wouldn't be able to cut someone like me out of your life.

what i want to know is how you know who i am. what i'm about. where i'm going and where i've come from. you don't have a fucking clue as i haven't got one about you either. all you know are the pieces of me that tmj finds enticing enough to share, whether it's conversation, pictures, or thoughts of his - i didn't take any offense to the fist comment you made, bringing up my smoking unless it's a joke is somewhat low, however. do you know why i smoke? it sounds like you make a lot of assumptions.

I'm siding with The Pink Lady and Jimbo. Comments are OK, rudeness is not, and G's first comment sounded rude to me too. Especially since you should know Tassy will also see it. Telling someone else what to do with his/her life is rarely a wise move. Um, I hope that didn't sound rude.

Jimbo - way to go. I'm so glad chivalry is not dead. Tassy - you epitomize my belief in life before death.

I'm done now. You can continue the battle.

Since when did Blogs become forums where people feel the need to pass judgement and/or criticise?

Jimbo, I've had the pleasure of being able to share what parts of your life you have felt you can share for the past 12 months. I love your writing, and am constantly facinated by a life and culture so very different from my own.
Keep your chin up, be true to your self and make the man in the mirror proud.
I love your work, keep it up.

(Your mate from Oz)

I'm reminded about a friend's comments on acts of kindness. Often, an act of kindness can be just the ability to think on a friend's reaction to something that one might say and check themselves before saying it. Your friend might not know that you're being kind by NOT saying something, but at least it saves you from looking like an ass...even if, in your own mind, your intentions may be good ones (and we all know what the road to hell is paved with.)

If one simply cannot show the restraint required to carry out this act of kindness, then perhaps a private email is better than a public attack. Oddly enough, it requires much less effort to be kind than it does to be rude and the payback is much sweeter.

I think it's kind of funny how so many people around here think they know what's good for Jim and what isn't. I don't think there is a person on the planet who has it all figured out. Anyone who would say so is more fucked up than the rest of us.

I don't understand why there has been this sudden attack on tassy like she's the example of everything that is wrong in Jim's life. From what I know, they have fun together. You people should try it some time. Not every relationship has to be a stuffy repeat of the last. Sometimes it's refreshing to meet someone who shakes you up a little. Both for the bad and for the good.

The only theory I have is that you must be jealous, and I can see why. Jim may be a little cocky, and Jim may have bad taste in footwear, but all-around, he's funny, he's kind, and he's a good friend to have around.

He's also smart. And over the age of eighteen. I think he can make his romantic choices for himself. I think he knows who he wants to spend his time with.

So, screw you if YOU are too dense to figure that out.

I'm a rare commenter, here, or on any other blog that I frequent, but today I have something to say. Jimbo, big props to you and for living your life.

Having a life very similar to yours, and working in approximately the same field, also being close in age, oooh, can't forget, Im the OTHER sexy bald motherfucker out here, I relate, and on so many levels. People who glimpse our lives through our weblogs seem to feel that they have the inside scoop on what we need, who we should be dating, how we should dress, what we should read, the list goes on. I make conventional choices in some parts of my life, and choose my own path for the majority of them. You seem to do the same. Big props to you for not settling for the status quo.

Tassy, I don't know you, other than what Jimbo has posted here. What I would like to say is that if you make Jimbo happy, that is all that matters. I think that it is safe to say that you do that, and do it well. You know, I have observed that people in general hate beautiful women, especially ones that know Unix. Men hate you because they can't be with you, women hate you because they want to be you. As far as I'm concerned, you rock. Keep rocking!

i think the bald man-stud and the pink-haired hot chick go great together.
As Karen, the drunk on Will & Grace says, "Who are you to judge, Judy?"

i take everything karen says on w&g seriously bmw :) i LOVE her!

wow...everyone's weighing in with comments...ok, here's mine.

One of the last color pix of Tassy showed her eyes...oh my goodness...Tassy, you have GORGEOUS eyes...and yeah, gorgeous other attributes as well, but your eyes were so peaceful and wise and DID balance nicely against the pink hair...so here's MY request...

More pix of Tassy...definitely more puppy pix...and I want photographic proof that TMJ has bad taste in footwear.

Am I asking too much??

holy fuck, Glovia... since when does the "post" button in the comments mean "spew cocky PMS-induced commentary"?? that's what you OWN blog is for, sister.

Here's something that I've figured out as a blog reader over the past 6 months or so. (I dont have one of my own, I'm merely an observer). If you read a comment like that of Glovia, and let yourself be directed to THEIR blog, you find out that bitterness is usually in their writing. I havent done this with Glovia, but it's usually the case. As in real life - the folks who have to give their opinion of others so harshly are usually just not where they want to be themselves.

Keep up the good writing, there are more of us out here rooting for you...

Julie

I'm with Glovia--you should give up Tassy. That way I can have her :-) Yummy! Of course, you're yummy, too, Jimbo...so maybe you should stay with her and we should all just meet for...er, coffee..someday. For now, though, the hubby and I will settle for more blog pics!

Seriously, though, isn't it weird how pretty much total strangers feel the need to tell you what to do with relationships they know nothing at all about? This has happened to me on my blog, which was annoying; but, far worse was when it happened in real life. One jealous bitch decided that she knew what was going on in my marriage (she didn't, as she literally barely knew me enough to recognize me in a grocery store), and tell everyone else about "it." Which incited a whole other group of people-again, that didn't know me and my husband other than to possibly recognize us if were were standing in front of them--to begin commenting on our marriage, publicly. Some went so far as to tell him I was a slut giving him "breadcrumbs from the banquet of life" and that he should leave me and never take my phone calls again. All for something that wasn't evening happening, and that one person had assumed because she has an EXREMELY overactive imagination, little real-life exposure, and nothing better to do with her life. Little known to anyone else at that time was that what my hubby and I really were going through was far, far worse than anyone could know--and far more personal. My husband was diagnosed with a neurological disorder at that time, and we were working on how to deal with what that was going to mean for our marriage. We didn't talk to anyone about this except very close friends, because it was really personal and affected some parts of our marriage I just don't discuss on my blog (or much of anywhere else). It was almost too much for my husband and I to deal with on top of everything else, as the rumors had begun to spread to places we frequented, etc. Assumptions are how destructive rumors often get started, and rumors CAN be destructive. There are times when you can't "just ignore" them because they affect your business (I am self-employed, and reputation is important in what I do), and your social life (we'd go places, and have people we didn't know make remarks).

My (long-winded) point is that all too often people make assumptions based on very little information, and they're almost always wrong. Often, it can be painful and even make the situation (if there is one) worse. Blogs, and even intermittent social contact, aren't the complete pic of what is going on in someone's life. If you don't know that complete picture--which almost always means you're at least a very close friend--then any assumptions you might have may be totally wrong, and therefore advice based on those assumptions very innappropriate.

EX: Tassy smoking. Perhaps Tassy has gloaucoma or one of a number of other conditions that respond to smoking certain substances. Perhaps she's doing it because she enjoys it. Perhaps there are other reasons entirely.

Sorry, this kind of thing just touches a nerve since that whole thing happened. Even "virtually," it created problems since the hubby and I were both rec'ving these things from random people in our work emails.

Bottom line: just because you read someone's blog or are even in-person friends with them, doesn't give you any ownership over their life.

How about we get back to some fun?

seriously joe. and i THOUGHT this was a funny, light hearted post too.

Fine, AJ, be concise and say exactly what I wanted to say in a much shorter post. *sniffs pitifully at lack of own conciseness and trundles back to my own blog, trying to forcibly take Tassy pics with me as I leave*

(this post totally had me laughing-out-loud... before i read the comments)

Jimbo,
It makes me happy to read about your exploits, and about your fascinating honey who has so much freedom to do as she does.
I think my Mom would have me mentally evaluated if I got pink hair!
While my situation is getting better, I don't have a lot extra right now, and everything I do has to be really, realy cheap, so hearing about travelling and going to cool hotels makes me daydream for a bit and get out of here.
Thank you.
-D

Wow. Who knew that a cute little post would turn into such a battle? It's always the innocuous posts that start comment wars, though... :\

I can't add much to what's already been said, so I'll refrain from jumping into the fray. I will say that it's a damned good thing Glovia can't see the other thing you wrote yesterday. ;)

I am either way far out of the loop here or just thoroughly dense because I have NO idea what these comments are implying. I thought the post was kind of cute.

Well, it made me laugh out loud. Glad to see you chipper again Jimbo. Don't let the presumptuous geeks get you down. Some of us like to live vicariously though you!

bridget, there are very, very few people who can. consider yourself special.

jim knows i heart him, but i wanted to chime in with an 'i heart melly' comment. i am a secret fan. :-)

Really, Jim, you should always make life choices by considering how it will affect your core audience. With this in mind, dumping Tassy at this point in the blog would be bad for site traffic. I would wait until a litle bit later in the season, when you can cryptically post something about a "life change" and then not post for 2 months.

You and Tassy both rock. Screw the naysayers!

And what's wrong with smoking the good stuff?