The things you think about during long, boring meetings...
Anybody remember the Six Million Dollar Man? Steve Austin? Starring that hulking bundle of polyester masculinity, Lee Majors? So anyway the point of the show was that there was this guy, an astronaut, who piled it from 35,000 feet and didn’t die. Instead he suffered a broken leg, an arm, and lost an eye. Or something like that. Anyway, according to the show, they could “rebuild him.” Make him “better.” They apparently couldn’t make him better roles as his next show was “The Fall Guy,” but I suppose they never promised him a bionic agent. Regardless, he could do all kinds of neat stuff like run sixty miles an hour, jump over buildings, bend the barrels of bad guys’ guns and check out Lindsey Wagner’s ass from ten blocks away.
As I recall, and admittedly, it may just be my six-year-old brain screwing up my memories of a show that last aired more than twenty years ago, but didn’t he have just ONE bionic leg? Now I may have skipped that day in physics, but wouldn’t that mean he could only run sixty miles an hour in a circle? And I don’t know about you, but if I had just one bionic eye I’d be really damn dizzy all the time. What, they ran out of money? The extra eye would have made him the seven million dollar man, and really, that just wasn’t in the budget.
Maybe I’m over thinking this.
Remember the cool na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na sound whenever he hit the juice on those bionic parts? Although, I do have to wonder, since they did have to “rebuild” him, did he make that noise at any other times? Cause it would be real annoying if every time he turned left or bent over or scratched his head or reached for his wallet or had to take a dump he started na-naing again.
Still, I did love the whole na-na-na thing. That was pretty neat shit for a six year old. If you were a kid in the 70’s at all, you know you made that sound at least once while playing in the backyard. Only it’s pretty hard to mimic the cool slow-mo effect that went with it when you were trying to jump over the dog.
I’m thinking I need to make a belt buckle with a tiny speaker and that sound effect built into it, so every time I take off my pants...well, you get the idea.
Oh, come on! You know you want one.
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.
Comments
Laughing too hard to post a rational comment! :)
Thanks for the trip down memory lane!
Posted by: AVERAGE JOE | June 17, 2004 09:39 AM
Oh my god, thank you... What Joe said.
Posted by: DeeGee | June 17, 2004 10:50 AM
I thought the Six Million Dollar man was a wrestler? Chalk it up to that refined Okie culture.
Posted by: melly | June 17, 2004 11:31 AM
No, he had two bionic legs and one bionic arm, thus making it possible for him to run at 60mph. Please, Jimbo, these things are important, get it straight next time.
Posted by: sac | June 17, 2004 12:53 PM
OMG. Just yesterday I was eavesdropping in our office. When relaying the story to a colleague I said, "I was all Jamie Summers! Cha-ch-ch-ch-ch..Cha-ch-ch-ch!" I even cupped my hair behind my ear and turned my head. BTW. I had the Bionic woman "barbie" doll when I was about 8. THere were little plates in her arm that lifted up so that you could see a picture of electronics. She came geared up in that awful white terry cloth shirt with the red and blue stripes, the running pants and tennies. The dog ate one of her tennies. I also had a Cher doll. SHe was huge and her hair was so black, long and waxy it matted up, my dad cut it and I cried. She was so big that it looked funny when I made her have sex with my brother's GI Joe guy.
Posted by: Xdm | June 17, 2004 02:28 PM
I was going through some major knee surgeries in the years when those shows were on. I sooooo wanted to be the Bionic Woman!
Posted by: DogsDon'tPurr | June 17, 2004 05:46 PM
wait... you wear pants?
Posted by: dvl | June 18, 2004 12:28 AM
http://bmwlaguna.blogspot.com/2004/05/i-was-obsessed-with-six-million-dollar.html
Posted by: bmw | June 18, 2004 07:23 AM
I remember the bionic woman. Some one, maybe my parents, bought her for me when I was really young. I thought she was freaky. I remember cutting her hair up really short to make her look like a man.
My parents wouldn't buy me a Ken doll for my Barbie, so...
Posted by: lelu | June 18, 2004 09:06 AM
No, I don't want one. But I'd love a bionic vagina.
Posted by: yvonne | June 18, 2004 09:20 AM
whoa... dont be dissin the fall guy... lee majors rocks
Posted by: hazelll | June 18, 2004 09:52 AM
xdm, you rock! Much digital love to ya... :)
Posted by: AVERAGE JOE | June 18, 2004 10:40 AM
James: the sound goes like THIS:
" doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo- " not that na-na-na- bs you're talking about. That was Sha-Na-Na from the Saturday morning program. Anyhow, I remember the big crossover special featuring the bionic woman, the bionic man, and SASQUATCH a.k.a. BIGFOOT! Something about a trippy spinning tunnel or somesuch nonsense...it was all a blur...
Posted by: jimbo east | June 18, 2004 11:55 AM
Funny...I remember it as being a neh neh neh neh sound! But, it was fun ch ch ch-ing, and do do do-ing, and na na na-ing and imagining all these grown people laughing while they made these sounds. Thanks Jimbo!
Posted by: Pua | June 18, 2004 03:11 PM
Wow!, that's great. I was just talking about the Bionic people the other day. It was prompted by the badness of those new AOL commercials.
Posted by: Erin | June 19, 2004 01:07 AM
I have to respectfully disagree with Jimbo East; I definitely remember it being "na-na-na" and occasionally "da-da-da" but NEVER "doo-doo-doo". Perhaps you're thinking of Scooby Doo?;-p
Posted by: Tina | June 19, 2004 07:31 AM
yeah, i'm pretty sure it's not a do-do-do-do-do too.
Jimbo, I'm gonna need proof.
Posted by: the mighty jimbo | June 19, 2004 09:36 AM
This post has become ass.
Posted by: melly | June 19, 2004 10:31 AM
bionic ass
Posted by: yvonne | June 19, 2004 01:39 PM
Stale ass.
Posted by: melly | June 19, 2004 03:38 PM
Happy Father's Day!
Posted by: your sperm | June 20, 2004 09:38 AM