You wanted manifesto? You want to know what I’m about? Sometimes even I don’t know what I’m about. But I’ve been giving it some thought. So as far as I can tell, at the age of 32 here’s what I’m about:

I’m a fiscally conservative, socially liberal registered independent.
I’m an optimistic pragmatist who is cynically idealistic.
I ache for a third party.
Anytime you let ideology trump your humanity, you are wrong.
Anytime your religion trump your humanity, your religion is wrong.
Anytime you let your government trump your humanity, your government is wrong.
All organized religion is based on false assumptions, bald-faced lies, unchecked charisma, our basic human fear of the unknown and need to belong.
But if that’s what works for you and if it makes you a better person, have at it.
Environment and education first.
I prefer sports I don’t have to pay for.
I am pro bolts, pro access, but against drills, glue and chipping.
Litter pisses me off to no end.
I am not for socialized medicine. I am also not for 28% profit margins for pharmaceutical companies.
Don’t need it, don’t buy it.
Unless you just really gotta have that new iPod.
Don’t try to justify bad behavior. At least have the balls to accept your vice.
It’s better to live with consequences than with doubt.
Being pissed off doesn’t give anyone the right to be an asshole.
I’m for cheap airfare for students and college deferments for international travel.
I am pro-death, pro-choice, and generally appalled by both.
I’m for cheap, unregulated high-speed internet access. I’m for digital libraries. I’m for open source. I’m for standards. I’m for good design.
I am against piracy in all its forms.
I am all for freedom of expression. Burn your flag. But don’t bitch when someone breaks your nose.
I’m for consumer rights.
And for tort reform.
Pro legalization. Pro moderation. Pro responsibility,
Reality is way, way more interesting than delusion.
I’m tired of paying for other people’s fuckups.
When it comes to new condos or the survival of a rare species of field mouse, the mouse wins.
I am profoundly against fast food, the ethics of meat production and commercial fishing.
Apple.
David Lee Roth.
Equal rights for lefties. Uh, yeah. Whatever.
I would sell a kidney for mint chocolate chip ice cream that doesn’t make me fart.
Atkins can bite my pasta-fattened ass.
Have at those stem cells.
If you don’t exercise I never want to hear you bitch about how you look.
If you don’t vote I never want to hear you bitch about the country.
I’m for a federal law banning all forms of unsolicited direct marking.
Ass cancer to those who break it.
Good oral hygiene is essential to a happy life.
Trim.
That Osama Bin Laden is still alive but 900 US soldiers who went to Iraq are not makes me nauseated.
Religion in all its forms is to blame for as much of the world’s evil as it is to blame for much of the world’s good.
Maybe more.
I’d rather be on top.
I have no kinks but I’m really, really flexible.
Read this very carefully: We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.
Just because we were created equal doesn’t mean that you don’t have to earn your way later.
The best way America could protect itself from terrorism would be to remove it’s lips from the blackened tit of Arab oil.
But I do love my SUV.
I don’t believe in conspiracies theories. Life is rarely so simple.
If you are going to believe in anything, believe in yourself first.
I am for holding hands, tight hugs, and making out on the first date.
I generally like dogs better than people.
Animal cruelty deserves mandatory jail time.
Rapists deserve street justice.
Bill and Opus 04. Now more than ever.
Why is it that all the people who want to tell you how and who you should or shouldn’t fuck also seem to be the people who most desperately need to get laid?
Anytime you think you could probably be doing something better with your time you are probably right.
My distaste for hypocrisy has no limits.
Apparently neither does my appetite for it.
Change is inevitible.
Especially on this list.
Love. First. Always.
Bloggers who post lists like this or use Single. Word. Sentences. Probably need to reconsider those posts or just put up some beefcake and go to bed instead of wasting everyone’s time with this kind of digital crappola.