Does Vegas do it to you? Is there something here that makes women want to look like little reptillian clones of Donatella Versace? Does Vegas attract people with more money than taste? Or does the combination of sun, alcohol and electromagnetic radiation do something to the brain to make otherwise well meaning women make profoundly bad fashion choices? What went first, the cash or the common sense?

I swear it’s spooky. White blond hair and charbroiled skin tanned so dark it matches the grain on their handbags. I don’t know too many women with blonde hair who have a skin tone best described as burnt umber. Four inch heels and sweat bands that double as a mini skirt and a tube top. They don’t want to look like hookers. They want to look like photonegatives of hookers.

I can’t wait to get back to Southern California. You know, where people are normal.