Grumble.
Why is it that all the homosexuals I know seem to get way, WAY more action than me? Nothing against the gays. I love them. Honest. I have an honorary membership card (unfortunately I have to join to get the toaster). But damn, all the non-breeders I know seem to do a whole lot more breeding. So to speak.
And, I swear, hot lesbians are like make-out machines. Somebody is always chewing on a bottom lip. Then again, who doesn’t like a hot lesbian?
I, on the other hand, can't seem to meet anyone who might be interested in chewing on mine. It's been so long since I've kissed anyone I'm wondering if I've forgotten how. I can’t even remember the last time I went on a real date. Two months? Three?
Look, the odds are remarkably in my favor here. I have a much larger dating pool (regardless of how shallow) to choose from, I'm not unattractive (despite my monumental personal insecurities), I smell pretty good, and although I can be a world-class pain in the ass, this doesn't seem to stop anyone else from getting laid.
Come to think of it, it's not just lesbians getting more action. Everyone seems to be getting more action. If I had a dollar for every total asshole that gets more luvin’ than I do, well, frankly I'd be rich enough where this really wouldn't be a problem now, would it?
Sigh.
I gotta get out of OC. Or become a hot lesbian.
Comments
its true..
gays get action..
Posted by: hazelll | September 28, 2004 08:58 PM
I had a gay friend who explained to me from his gay guy point of view why gay guys seem to get laid all the time.
You see, guys will take sex anytime, daytime, nighttime, teatime. Girls aren't much different, guys just tend to be more obvious and desparate.
So.. a gay guy is a guy looking to get some action anytime .. with a guy.. who is looking to get laid anytime... with a guy, who is looking to ... etc.. Therefore.. gay guys just have more sex.
Posted by: Tasha | September 28, 2004 10:43 PM
Meh. I've tried being obvious as a girl. Doesn't always work. Need a better plan.
Posted by: jennn | September 29, 2004 06:48 AM
You would never make a "hot lesbian." So forget that.
Your post sounds like you actually want to lower your standards and become a whore. I suppose it's always an option....but then we would have to read about you not being able to find a nice, sincere, genuine girl who would be wife and mother material. There is nothing wrong with having high standards (such as yours)...and in the meantime, remember, God blessed you with two hands...and internet porn.
OR....come out of the closet already! You and the rest of the gays can have all that action together. ;-)
Posted by: Boo | September 29, 2004 07:01 AM
I disagree with Boo. You are one HOT lesbian -- a transexual lesbian, stuck in a man's body.
Heh.
If I were available, I'd help you with the problem. But I think it still wouldn't matter whether I or any of your commenting compadres was available to help. You're still looking for your soulmate. Time to widen the circle or move the net, dear transexual-lesbian.
Posted by: Rayne | September 29, 2004 09:45 AM
hmm...i'm a lesbian stuck in a man's body.
tassy is a man stuck in a lesbian's body.
geez.
we should have been a perfect fit.
(jenn, i'm going to philly this weekend. we can be obvious together!)
Posted by: the mighty jimbo | September 29, 2004 11:41 AM
Mighty Jimbo: I'm guessing that you get more action than this queer jimbo, judging by your posts. To put it in the words of my friend Chrisafer earlier this week: "Gurl, if you don't get your desperate ass to the sex club soon I'm going to pay for your admission myself!"
But then again recently I've had this cold, and I got most of my sluttiness out of my system.
Posted by: jimbo east | September 30, 2004 10:51 AM
You seem to know more hot lesbians then I do. And that's just so not fair. It would be nice if I could meet a lesbian soon so I can chew on her bottom lip.
Posted by: Lelu | October 1, 2004 05:44 PM
who is this tasha person? imposter tassy!
Posted by: tassy | October 3, 2004 03:01 PM
What about that cute girl who's digits you got before leaving for Italy? She gave you a little flutter, didn't she?
Posted by: Susan | October 6, 2004 07:26 PM