You go, Honey!
-D

Interesting...and brave (if you follow thru)

maybe it's time to just "be" instead of hyperfocusing on what you have and don't have. good luck with all this.

Hon, I'm gonna offer you an observation and some advice. You've posted this sort of stuff before, then you get involved in something or someone that takes your mind off it for a while...until it surfaces again. IMO, there's something trying to show itself to you that you aren't allowing in. Maybe the thing to do this time is not acquire new possessions or travel, but to find a good meditation center (Laguna Beach -- your neighbor is full of them) or spiritual coach, or even a regular ol' counselor, so you can bring up the stuff that needs to get addressed -- whatever that may be. You may find that doing something radically different (like taking advice from a stranger, for one! ) leads you toward a happiness you never could have come up with on your own. If the idea of meditation and spiritual seeking turns you off, maybe just pick up a book by Anne Lamott (go for Traveling Mercies -- not necessarily her fiction) and kick back on the beach with it for a few minutes. She's very accessible (not "out there" like some authors can be), and has been through her own stuff, and can be inspiring. Baby steps, dude. And hugs.

Everyone needs to regroup once in a while - luck! And strength and courage (and adventure!!) to make whatever changes you deem necessary.

Life's not about analyzing the past and worrying about the future, it's about enjoying the ride.

Life is a habit, and habits are hard to break even if they're bad ones. We get comfortable with the things we do every day, we're stuck in the same routine and even if they bore the pants off us we're reluctant to change because they're a habit we're used to.

Sit done with pen and paper and make a list, we get a better understanding when things are in black and white and we can read them over.

Write things down from bad to good. Start with the things in your life you simply can't stand anymore. Work on correcting them one by one. Trying to change everything in your life at once is a formula for failure.

I just pictured Elton John falling out of a tree.

Hey Jimbo,

I've been an occasional visitor to your blog, and run across your comments on Dooce, and I find your recent malaise interesting. You're a success-boy by many standards, but it's getting more and more empty and unfullfilling. Sounds to me like you're having growing pains, and in the very uncomfortable but necessary stage between one life phase and another.

Don't get me wrong, I'm an admirer, but I'm much older, and have some perspective that comes with passing the 50 mark. You're going from being wonderful-but-self-involved to a less sexy but more human stage, where you discover others in a deeper way, because you find a real need for them.

This is when "the click' usually happens. My mom told me about it, the only really wise thing she ever told me, and I've verified it with dozens and dozens of guys since then. It's like a switch gets thrown, and suddenly you're just ready to be married, and you usually marry the next reasonable person who happens along despite years of critical nit-picking and selectiveness where women were concerned.

Don't know if this will happen to you. Maybe it's just that we all want to live the 'Dooce' life every time we check in with her. Good luck in any case. I think you're on the verge of good changes, and it's not necessarily up to you to 'do' anything to prompt them. The'yre clearly on their way.

PS. I have a shaved head and ironically cool black glasses too, but I'm female.

yeah...what they all said ;)

Material things/life in the fast lane = instant gratification but unfulfilling in the long run.

the "real stuff" = a lot less glamorous but the only way to real peace/happiness.

i was picuring peter gabriel, melly, but maybe that album is before your time.

"I think it's time to shake the tree.
The boughs may break.
But you never know what fruit will fall out."

Well said. What about a job in the great outdoors? Get rich people to pay you ridiculous fees to go rock climbing or white water rafting or something else that you love.

Just so you know, I too recently came across your blog via your comments at dooce. After spending way too much time reading your archives I said to myself "I have a new boyfriend". Not in that crazy stalker way (see your sept. 30 entry) - but in that way when you come across someone that totally gets it.

So you're not really single.

(If it makes you feel better, you’re sharing the title with other unsuspecting gents like Johnny Depp and Matthew McConaughey.)

I get the same thing from my friends all the time, "damn you’re a great catch - why the hell hasn't some guy snagged you up?" And some of the married friends (their mostly ALL married now) are so envious of my 'freedom' and my ability to focus totally on myself. The grass is always greener I tell them.

It's not the 'singleness' that gets to me really. I'm not pining to get married or be seriously involved because I know it will happen in due time and the wait will be well worth it. I see so many of my friends struggling in their 3rd/5th/7th year of marriage because they didn’t have their 20’s to figure themselves out. We’ve had this time to get real with ourselves and figure out what we want/need/deserve in that other person.

What does get to me at times is the 'aloneness' that can't be filled with friends or flings. That someone who is the constant crew on my sailboat, someone to help remind me to pay my car registration, the comfortable date for all the fucking weddings and the strong arms wrapped around me for no other reason than to keep me warm on a cold night or roll down a grassy hill and laugh with me.

That’s all I’m saying.

(Insert Dr. Phil voice here): But we’re totally learning and experiencing during this stage in our lives and we just need to grab it by the balls (or ball, we’re single) and make the most of it.

End of rant. Or as Dennis Miller would say, “that’s just my opinion, I could be wrong.”

Hang in there.

I'm right there with you.
Unfortunately, unlike you, I just go silent when this sort of thing hits me.
You rock. We should rage if you're in Asia.
p.s. Your filter blocks my url!

Southern California makes me really restless, too. It's really nice, it fits all of my survival needs more than adequately, the food is good, but I still don't fit here. Saving up and looking forward to moving in about a year. Hope you find what you're looking for!

P.S. I found your blog from little.yellow.different. a while ago. Linked to it because you had a post about U2 (U2!) and I hadn't met/heard of any fans, especially in this area. Not a stalker. Promise. Cheers.

I relate to this more than you know. I think a lot of people out there feel this way! When you can't get out of bed, when you don't know where your life is going, when you don't have many solid people in your life. Oh, yeah.