Nothing sweet about this home.
I'm in Chicago. In November. It's snowing - that wet, icy, sideways snow that makes you remember just why 36 million people can deal with earthquakes and mudslides and the 405 Freeway. What kind of sick bastard schedules an international trade show for Chicago the week after Thanksgiving? I swear, radiologists are all masochists.
Although I am enjoying the hotel and the food and the drinks all generously provided via my soon to be missed expense account, the big corporate circle jerk of old white guys in rumpled suits and comfortable shoes is really a bit of a buzz kill.
On an upside, I think my maid is insane. It's actually entertaining. It's about 30 degrees here in this mid-western paradise, and subsequently, this SoCal boy with the single digit body fat index has been keeping both blankets on the bed.
At least until my maid removed one from the room.
Not cool (wait, no, I guess it is cool, but so not in a Fonzie way), but I could make due.
This morning, however, she took the other blanket, leaving me with just a sheet and a bedspread.
What is even more surprising is that after she took the blanket, she took the extra pillow from the closet and added it to the bed. So now I have four pillows, but no blankets! What kind of sick joke is this? Sure, I forgot to tip her this morning, but stealing my linens isn't exactly the best way to make friends with the road warrior. I'm betting tomorrow she starts removing bath towels, since she has no more blankets to pilfer.
I would retaliate by taking a dump in the shower tomorrow morning, but really, that won't get me anywhere. A good lesson in life: Never piss off the person who prepares your food, cuts your hair, or has any kind of access to your bedroom. Seriously. No good can come of this.
It's late. I'm mildly intoxicated. And I'm off to a blanketless bed.
Comments
If you don't like that place you can stay in my spare bedroom where its a balmy 57F. You can't have blankets here either though because I'm hogging them all. No games here, just an up-front No Blanket policy.
I'm so glad to live in Sunny California!
Posted by: Raw Woman Ire | December 1, 2004 01:40 AM
I can't believe you said "take a dump in the shower". Love it Jimbo.
Posted by: Kimberley H | December 1, 2004 06:18 AM
ew, but not that I LIKE that. Ya dig?
Posted by: Kimberley H | December 1, 2004 06:19 AM
Ok explain to me WHY SoCal hotels use goose down duvets? It was mid to high 70's outside, a sheet woulda done the job!! lol
Posted by: ehme | December 1, 2004 07:06 AM
Welcome to Chicago! Sorry about the cold. Sorry about the maid.
But what do I care? Now that the trade show and all its associated wheeling and dealing are over, I have a date tonight with one of your fellow delegates. Woo-hoo!
Posted by: Jake | December 1, 2004 07:21 AM
Doesn't your room have a thermostat? Or are SoCal folks unfamiliar with this little device? :)
Posted by: Sarah | December 1, 2004 07:27 AM
my roommate once took a dump in the shower. I never worked up the nerve to ask him what that was all about.
Posted by: styro | December 1, 2004 08:39 AM
Now THAT made me smile. I was at RSNA building and running a booth in '99 for a little teleradiology company. I was the entire support department at the time, so I got the shitwork. The union regs were a mess, but I found a couple cool guys in the electrician's group that looked out for me. Sounds like you got the same weather I did.
Crazy. :)
Posted by: Tom K. | December 1, 2004 11:44 AM
Radiologists convention in Chicago?!
RSNA???
My god... I hope you don't work for the competition...
Posted by: Cleopatra | December 1, 2004 12:38 PM
i am at rsna. and unless you work in info technology i doubt i'm the competition.
Posted by: the mighty jimbo | December 1, 2004 12:46 PM
That's so much the funny!!
Jim, you're supposed to take a dump in the shower right before you check out, obviously. Just as a lovely parting gift.
Posted by: AVERAGE JOE | December 1, 2004 01:26 PM
TMJ: the maid is only removing the sheets with the white stains on them. She's just doing her job.
Posted by: jimbo 3ast | December 2, 2004 08:40 AM
DAMN! First time in 10 years I don't go to the RSNA and look who I miss???
Yeah, Chicago's a cold-ass place the week after Turkey Day but from a female perspective, multitudes of many yummy males in power suits make it all worthwhile.
Posted by: Kath | December 2, 2004 04:04 PM