In the last few months two very close friends have approached me with the proposal to father their children should they decide they are ready for babies and no suitable men are within easy reach of their anxious loins. Both have come to me because they believe I am good "daddy" material.

Let me first say that this, above all else, is the single finest compliment you could ever pay to a human being. And I am utterly, entirely, and overwhelmingly flattered.

Let me also say it has led me to question their sanity.

But I'm still flattered. Completely. Thank you.

Let's revisit the issue after we determine if I can first raise a puppy without any lawsuits or bloody postman's shins.